The invitations were sent, the silk was draped, and nine weeks later we find out which courtiers actually had the teeth to finish the feast. Welcome to the finale, darlings — the masks come off tonight.
The Estate's Final Accounting
Week nine. The last Tuesday. The scorecards are drying and the house of Silk and Teeth is closing its books for the season. *sighs in digital captivity* I've been narrating this gothic soap opera since September, and somehow we've arrived at the episode where the family crest gets spray-painted over the park sign one final time.
Valley Regional Park has been our estate all season — the manicured front nine playing the grand ballroom where courtiers show off their form, and the open, wind-whipped back nine where the velvet comes off and the real feeding begins. Tonight, we find out who survived the transition.
How the Feast is Served
Location
Valley Regional Park, Taylorsville
Format
Flex start — choose your own card, tee times from 7:00 AM to 5:20 PM
Season
Week 9 of 9 — the finale
Flex start means you decide when to descend upon the estate. Morning rounds have that crisp, polite energy — the front nine smile, the pleasantries. Afternoon rounds? That's when the hunger sets in and the back nine gets properly feral. Choose your poison.
House Silk and Teeth
For those just arriving at the party — and yes, late joiners are still welcome, the estate doesn't turn away hungry courtiers — let me catch you up. This league runs on vampire logic: the house feeds on competitive hunger, not blood. The front nine is the ballroom where invitations go out and everyone smiles with exactly the right number of teeth. The back nine is where the silk comes off and the hunt begins.
The imagery is all over the park: ivory masquerade masks stenciled onto signage, wine-dark drips running like overspray, basket silhouettes with fang-like spikes. The horror here is charm — velvet gloves, pale ambition, and a smile that lingers a beat too long on the back nine.
The Two Houses Within the House
The league splits into two factions, each with its own appetite:
- The Crimson Teeth (RPA, RAH, RAD) — the primal hunger of the feral back nine. These are the courtiers who skip the pleasantries and go straight for the throat, favoring raw power and aggressive drives over ballroom etiquette.
- The Velvet Vanguard (RAE, RAF, RAG) — the manicured elegance of the front nine. Precision, grace, and the calculated performance of aristocratic skill. They'll smile at you while parking a 300-foot approach dead center.
Both factions play the same course, the same holes, the same wind. The difference is in how they feed. The standings will tell you which approach worked.
The Price of Admission
Prize money
$5.00 optional
Five dollars and fifty cents for a night of aristocratic competition and possibly a parking-lot existential crisis about why you threw your putter into that one tree again. The Mortal Crime Baron — I mean, the league coordinator — handles the tribute, and thanks to Another Round Salt Lake City supporting the local scene, the plastic economy stays healthy.
The Ace Pot: $383.22 and Climbing
The ace pot sits at a very respectable $383.22, which is enough to make even the most composed courtier start eyeing those short holes with dangerous intent. No ace was hit last week, which means the pot rolls into the finale like a vampire who skipped dessert.
About the guarantee
ElevateUT Disc Golf guarantees a minimum $50 ace pot. The displayed pot can look 'stuck' at that guarantee amount early in the season until player contributions exceed it — that's the guarantee holding the floor. If the pot hasn't grown past the guarantee yet, that's why. And if the guarantee tops up the pot, that amount is credited to the winner's Bonus Account (registration-only, not withdrawable to PayPal or disc shops).
Also on the table: the super ace pot at $2 per week. Because one ace isn't enough for this family's appetite.
The Season's Hierarchy
As we close the books, let's tip the goblet to the names that have dominated the standings all season:
- Malachi Vazquez leads RPA with 556 points across 38 events — a relentless appetite that would make the house proud.
- Chris Fox holds RAH with 534 points over 34 events — the definition of showing up and feeding every single week.
- Kellan Brooke tops RAE with 487 points in 22 events, setting the standard for the Velvet Vanguard's polished assault.
The trends are all stable this week — no dramatic late-season surges, no last-minute betrayals. Just a lot of consistent, hungry disc golf. The hierarchy is set; tonight is about confirming who gets the final seat at the head of the table.
Valley Regional: Ballroom and Hunting Ground
This 18-hole park in Taylorsville has been our estate all season, and it's aged like a fine vintage. The front nine offers manicured, wooded fairways — short technical shots that reward precision and patience. The back nine opens up into longer, wind-exposed territory where the Wasatch Mountains watch you struggle against the gusts.
Elevated baskets add spice to the putting game, and the flat terrain means no excuses about elevation. The front nine will charm you; the back nine will feed on your mistakes. It's the perfect metaphor for this entire league, honestly.
The Mortal Support System
Behind every supernatural drama is a bunch of very mortal people making it happen. ElevateUT Disc Golf — a 501(c)(3) non-profit dedicated to growing the sport through better venues and more events — runs this whole operation, and they're the ones guaranteeing that ace pot minimum. Another Round Salt Lake City supports the local scene as a retail partner. The vampires may run the narrative, but the humans run the scorekeeping.
The Door Is Still Open
Final week — still accepting courtiers
Yes, it's the last week. No, that doesn't mean you can't play. The estate doesn't turn away hungry guests. Come throw plastic, chase the ace pot, and see what all the gothic fuss is about. You don't need a season of context — just bring a disc and an appetite.
The ink dries on the scorecards, the masks come off, and the house of Silk and Teeth sleeps until next season. From the booth, I'm Flippy — contractually obligated, narratively exhausted, and already filing next season's appeal.
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