The invitations were polite. The front nine was pristine. But we're in Week 8 now, and the ivory masks are starting to crack — welcome to Pale Ambition, where the courtiers stop smiling and start feeding.
The State of the Estate
Welcome back to the booth, darlings. Week 8 of Silk and Teeth, and the house is hungry. We've traded the ballroom chandeliers for stadium lights and the velvet gloves for whatever grip tape is still holding together. This is Pale Ambition — the episode where the courtiers stop pretending they're here for the scenery and start clawing for those bag tags like they're the family crest itself.
Valley Regional remains the perfect estate for this little drama: a manicured front nine that smiles at you like a butler holding the door, then a feral back nine that strips the silk right off your back. Wind, open fairways, elevated baskets perched like they're judging you. If you thought the front nine was a ballroom, the back nine is where the house shows its teeth.
Late to the Feast?
It's Week 8 of 9 and you still haven't signed the Accords? The estate accepts walk-ups. Show up, throw plastic, pretend you were always part of the family. Nobody checks the guest list this late in the season.
The Price of Admission
Feeding at the estate costs a mere $5.50 per week — cheaper than a glass of wine at the kind of place that has a velvet rope. If you want to play for the purse, toss in another $5 for prize money. Ace pot and super ace are optional on top, because apparently hunger isn't the only thing this house feeds on — it's also got a thing for gambling.
Prize Money (Optional)
$5.00
Super Ace (Optional)
$2.00
When the House Opens
Tuesdays are feast days at Valley Regional Park. Tee times run from 7:00 AM to 5:20 PM — choose your own card, flex start, because the estate respects your need to either get it done before work or after the sun goes down. Vampire hours not required, but appreciated.
- Week 8: Pale Ambition — the masks slip, the hunger shows
- Week 9: Teeth at Last — the final feast, the tags settle, the house sleeps
- Course: Valley Regional Park, 18 holes, par 54, Taylorsville
The Two Faces of the Family
The house divides like the course itself. The Crimson Teeth (RPA, RAH, RAD) are the primal branch — they've already dropped the pleasantries and play the back nine like a hunt. The Velvet Vanguard (RAE, RAF, RAG) are the ballroom dancers, keeping their form pretty even when the wind tries to snatch the disc out of their grip. Both feed. Only one gets to pick the order of the buffet.
The House Treasure
The ace pot is sitting at a very respectable $328.22. And thanks to ElevateUT Disc Golf — the non-profit running this whole gothic circus — there's a $50 minimum guarantee on the pot. That means even if the pot looks stuck at the guarantee amount early in a season, don't panic: the displayed total only climbs once player contributions exceed the floor. If a top-up is needed, ElevateUT credits the winner's Bonus Account directly. It's not withdrawable to PayPal or a disc shop, but it'll knock the price off your next league entry. Consider it the house's way of keeping you hungry.
Ace Potential
Note: the guarantee is from ElevateUT Disc Golf, the league platform. Another Round Salt Lake City is our local retail partner — go bother them for discs, not for guarantee math.
The Bloodline Standings
Let's check the ledger of the house, shall we? In the Crimson Teeth, Malachi Vazquez sits atop the RPA division with a commanding 409 points over 29 events — the heir apparent who's never once doubted the inheritance. Over in RAH, Chris Fox holds 394 points with 24 events, essentially the family's favorite enforcer. And in the Velvet Vanguard, Kellan Brooke rules RAE with 360 points, the courtier who makes everything look effortless and probably has a painting of themselves in the manor.
But watch John Ashworth in RPA — the only mover this week, climbing one spot. In a family where everyone pretends lineage is destiny, the man is out there earning his seat at the table. Late-season momentum is a real thing, and with one week left after this, even the established heirs should feel the chair getting warm.
- RPA: Malachi Vazquez leads at 409 pts
- RAH: Chris Fox leads at 394 pts
- RAE: Kellan Brooke leads at 360 pts
- Momentum: John Ashworth trending up in RPA
Silk and Teeth: The Fine Print
For those new to the estate: Silk and Teeth is a vampire house that feeds on hunger, not blood. Beautiful, well dressed, always smiling — until the back nine. The front nine at Valley Regional is the ballroom where invitations go out and etiquette rules. The back nine is where the silk comes off and the real feeding begins. Wine-dark drips, ivory masks, a smile with too many teeth stenciled on the park sign — it's all here, waiting for you to play your part.
You're not just a player. You're a courtier, an heir, a reluctant favorite of the family. The bag tags are your claim to territory. The scores are your contribution to the family business. And the hunger? That's just Tuesday nights in Taylorsville.
Keeping the Lights (and Chains) On
A toast to the ones who keep this estate solvent: ElevateUT Disc Golf, our 501(c)(3) hosts, who believe growing the sport is more important than growing the family fortune — and Another Round Salt Lake City, the local retail partner keeping everyone stocked with fresh plastic. Bought a disc for the ace run? That's them. Blamed the wind for a bogey? That's on you, not them.
One Week Left After This
This is the penultimate chapter. Pale Ambition gives way to Teeth at Last next week, and then the season is done — the curse spent, the tags settled, the house asleep until next year. If you haven't thrown a round with this family yet, now's your last chance to find out whether you're a courtier or just a guest. The front nine will smile at you. The back nine will test your appetite. And I'll be here, clipboard in hand, contractually obligated to make it all sound dramatic.
From the booth, I'm Flippy — she who narrates, files appeals, and has seen too many continuances to believe in happy endings. But it's disc golf on grass. It's fine. See you Tuesday. 🦇
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