Welcome to the estate, darling. The invitations have been sent, the family crest is tagged over the park sign, and Week 5 has arrived with the velvet gloves coming off. I'm Flippy, your reluctant narrator, contractually obligated to make this sound like high society when it's really plastic flying at metal.
The State of the Estate
We are five weeks into the nine-week season, which means the polite applause of the front nine ballroom has officially given way to the feral appetites of the back nine. This is 'Back Feral' week, people. The silk is coming off, the smiles are getting sharper, and the Wasatch wind is waiting to strip away anything you thought you had.
Valley Regional Park is the perfect ancestral manor for House Silk and Teeth: a manicured, wooded front nine that plays the grand ballroom, and an open, wind-exposed back nine that serves as the hunting ground. The courtiers who only practiced their dance steps are about to learn that the family business requires more than good posture.
When the Ballroom Opens
Time
Flex start, tee times 7:00 AM - 5:20 PM
Course
Valley Regional Park Disc Golf Course
Season
9 weeks, September 15 - November 10
Current Week
5 of 9 - Back Feral
Choose your own card, choose your own tee time, choose your own adventure. The family is flexible about when you arrive, but once you're on the property, the hunger applies to everyone equally.
Two Houses, One Estate
The league has split into two philosophical factions, because apparently we can't just throw discs without a whole social structure attached.
- The Crimson Teeth (RPA, RAH, RAD): Raw power, aggressive drives, and the unspoken agreement that the back nine belongs to them. They've accepted that the velvet comes off eventually - might as well be first.
- The Velvet Vanguard (RAE, RAF, RAG): Precision, etiquette, and the calculated grace of a waltz. They believe the ballroom is where the real game is won. They are not wrong, but the back nine is undefeated against good posture.
The Family Tree, Ranked
Every dynasty needs its heir, and in the Velvet Vanguard, Kellan Brooke is sitting pretty at 187 points with a perfect 9-event attendance record. That's not just consistency - that's the kind of relentless showing-up that makes the rest of the family nervous.
The One-Point Schism
Christopher Hamby (113) and Peter Haws (112) are separated by a single point in RAE. That's not a gap, that's a knife edge. One good round, one bad gust of wind, one tree-nied approach, and the whole inheritance shifts.
Elsewhere, Tongia Vakaafi has slid past Blake Hawkins in RAH, and Nick Jennings is climbing in RPA. The tags are moving, the allegiances are shifting, and the Jordan River Clerk is keeping meticulous notes on all of it.
The Price of Admission
Prize Pot (optional)
$5.00
Super Ace (optional)
$2.00
The Mortal Crime Baron handles the money with the appropriate skepticism of someone who's seen too many supernatural creatures try to pay with 'favors' and 'exposure.' Cash works. The family accepts tribute in all standard denominations.
The Family Vault
The ace pot is currently sitting at $253.22 and growing. That's a proper feast for anyone who can thread the needle on Valley Regional's elevated baskets.
About That Guarantee
ElevateUT Disc Golf - the league platform and a 501(c)(3) non-profit dedicated to growing the sport - guarantees a $50 minimum ace pot. This means the displayed pot can look 'stuck' at that floor until player contributions exceed it. If the guarantee kicks in, the top-up is credited to the winner's Bonus Account (usable for registration only, not withdrawable). And for the record: Another Round Salt Lake City is a valued local retail partner and sponsor, but the guarantee comes from ElevateUT Disc Golf, not the shop.
House Rules: Silk and Teeth
Let me be very clear about the family we're dealing with here. House Silk and Teeth is a vampire dynasty that feeds on hunger, not blood. They are beautiful, well-dressed, and always smiling - right up until the back nine. The front nine is the ballroom where invitations go out and courtiers show off their finest form. The back nine is where the silk comes off and the real feeding begins.
- Primary: #5B1F3A - wine-dark, like a stain on a velvet glove
- Secondary: #2E0F1E - blackberry shadows for the gradient depth
- Accent: #F3E7DA - ivory, for the masks and the smiles behind them
- Imagery: velvet gloves, ivory masks, a smile with too many teeth, ballroom chandeliers stenciled on the picnic shelter
The vocabulary of the season is silk, velvet, pale, hunger, courtier, heir, fang, smile. Use them wisely. The horror here is charm - no gore, no bat clichés, just the creeping realization that everyone at this estate is very, very hungry.
The Accords & The Greater Game
For those not versed in the lore: this league is part of the larger Salt Lake Accords, a treaty binding ten supernatural factions across the valley's courses. The bag tags are Accord Seals - physical tokens of territory. Every tag movement is a political act. Every rating drop is a death curse. Every questionable OB call is an unsanctioned magical incident.
Silk and Teeth is the vampire house, and we're holding court at Valley Regional all season. The Wizard Wardens have Creekside, the Faerie Courts have Dragonfly and the Tetons, the Risen Dead have Roots. We have the ballroom and the hunting ground. I'd say that makes us the most civilized, but the back nine disagrees.
The Mortal Support System
Behind every supernatural soirée is a mortal infrastructure, and this one is excellent. ElevateUT Disc Golf is the 501(c)(3) non-profit facilitating this whole affair, dedicated to growing the sport through better venues and better events. They're the ones guaranteeing that ace pot minimum - real support for real community.
And another round of applause for Another Round Salt Lake City, our local retail partner and sponsor, keeping the valley stocked with premium plastic and supporting the league that makes Tuesday nights worth leaving the coffin for.
A Word for the Late Arrivals
The Table Is Still Set
Week 5 of 9, and yes, the season is half over. But the family is always hungry for fresh courtiers. You don't need a perfect attendance record to make an impression - you just need to show up, throw well, and survive the back nine. The standings have room, the ace pot has teeth, and the estate doesn't care when you arrived. It only cares that you're here.
From the booth, I'm Flippy - your reluctant narrator, filing another appeal that will come back as a form. The tags are moving, the hunger is rising, and somehow we're still rolling tape. See you at the estate.
