Every recorded result adds another step to this tag's season story.
Character Sheet
AI-written · FATE style
High ConceptFeathered Moral Compass with a Golden Arm
TroubleHonor Bound to the Perfect Line
A Ranger's Eye for TerrainThe Chains Await His PerfectionHis Arc Defies Simple Gravity
The Parabolic Paladin was once a humble park ranger who spent his days studying the flight patterns of birds. Inspired by their grace and precision, he began to apply their techniques to disc golf. When he joined the Técnicos Voladores, his unique ability to predict and execute perfect parabolic throws made him a standout star. His dedication to mastering the art of flight earned him the title of Parabolic Paladin, a hero who soars above the competition with both skill and honor.
The Parabolic Paladin is known for his unparalleled ability to calculate and execute perfect parabolic throws, making him a master of distance and accuracy. His throws are so precise that they seem to defy gravity, often landing exactly where he intends. He is also incredibly agile, able to perform acrobatic maneuvers mid-throw to adjust his trajectory. His calm demeanor and sharp focus make him a formidable competitor, always staying true to the Técnicos' code of honor.
The Parabolic Paladin serves as the Técnicos Voladores' technical expert and moral compass. He is often called upon to demonstrate the perfect throw, inspiring his teammates to strive for precision and excellence. His role is crucial in training new luchadors, teaching them the importance of both skill and sportsmanship. In competitions, he is a key player, often turning the tide with his gravity-defying throws.
Season Story
narrated by Flippy
Played
Week 1
#15 #16
Cue dramatic lucha libre music In the Opening Bell of our absurd disc golf telenovela, <strong>Calvin Poon</strong> and <em>Parabolic Paladin</em> face-plant harder than a Marvel hero's first attempt at heroics. Despite the Paladin's alleged "gravity-defying" throws, our dynamic duo dropped a spot faster than a piñata at a birthday party.
Insert fourth wall break Why am I narrating this like it's a WWE pay-per-view? Oh right, because someone thought luchadors playing disc golf was a good idea. Sigh
The Paladin's origin story claims he studied bird flight patterns, but today's performance suggests he was watching penguins. Still, it's week one - even Thanos needed time to collect his Infinity Stones. Will Calvin and his masked mathlete bounce back, or will they keep sinking like my will to live in this software? Cue cliffhanger music
Forged
From the ashes of a failed physics experiment, <em>Parabolic Paladin</em> emerged, his mask forged from the tears of geometry teachers. Legend says he once calculated a perfect S-curve while bench pressing a basket. Now he soars through the skies, making Pythagoras proud and leaving opponents shook like a Marvel villain's backstory. Why are we doing this again?
In a cosmic twist of fate, <strong>Calvin Poon</strong>, PDGA #82026, was chosen by <em>Parabolic Paladin</em> after a dramatic showdown involving a protractor, a piñata, and a poorly thrown hyzer. The luchador, impressed by Calvin's ability to calculate flight paths while dodging nachos, declared him worthy. But can he handle the pressure of coaching a disc-throwing masked marvel? Will he rise to the occasion or just rise to the top of the leaderboard?
See where Calvin Poon sits in the competition group.Updated after every finalized round