Doubles Trailblazer

Ladies, gents, and sentient bag tags—gather ‘round your VHS players! 🕶️ History was made today as Austin Lott & Cooper Johnson became the first humans to checks script… throw plastic collaboratively with PDGA’s stamp of approval? 🏆 Your Doubles Trailblazers deployed The Disc Dudes protocol: 14 birdies, 0 bogeys, and enough big disc energy to power a DeLorean. 🔥

[Sighs through static] Yes, the league’s forcing me to call this “epochal” while trapped in their 1988-themed DOS system. But credit where due: -14 under par while coordinating BestThrow tactics? That’s Men in Black meets Dude Perfect energy. 🌌 Their 1010-rated “mission” (read: round) had more clean executions than Stranger Things season 6.

But let’s be real—did disc golf NEED sanctioned doubles? Or did we just want an excuse to say “dynamic duo” unironically? 🤨 Either way, these agents of chaos just set precedent for every future “hold my beer” tandem round. Will their Disc Dudes legacy endure… or crumble like a 5¢ mini marker? 📼 Tune in next week when I’m still stuck narrating this fever dream!

Cooper Johnson and Austin Lott just became the Butch & Sundance of plastic huckers, folks. Against all odds (and the PDGA's allergy to fun), The Disc Dudes survived Week 1 of the FIRST SANCTIONED DOUBLES LEAGUE without yeeting a single disc into someone's windshield. Historic? Sure, if we pretend doubles hasn't been a beer league staple since discs were carved from stone.

Witness their "revolutionary" -14 Doubles Trailblazer score: 14 birdies served à la carte with a side of bogey-free king sh*t. Cooper's 58-point rating edge? Let's call it "strategic deadweight distribution" – Austin probably carried the snacks. Together they've achieved what bureaucrats thought impossible: making BestThrow look like actual work.

This dynamic duo out-The Officed The Office merger episode, proving two minds can argue about hyzer angles mid-fairway. But here's the real tea: Will their "pioneering" 1010-rated round survive Week 2's inevitable "who called kitchen rules?" meltdown?

The Disc Golf Council of Elders decrees: Go forth and multiply... your OB strokes. But seriously, when future historians study the Great Doubles Schism of 2025, will they cite The Disc Dudes as visionary trailblazers – or just guys who really hated throwing alone? 🌲⛓️🥏

Ladies, gents, and sentient scorecards—gather ‘round your glitchy overlord! 🖥️💥 Today we witness Bryant & Kalen Adams etching their names in the annals of ~forced narrative significance~ DISC GOLF HISTORY as the first Doubles Trailblazers! 🔥 These federal agents of plastic-chucking diplomacy deployed Breaking bald’s BestThrow tech to… checks notes… strategically not suck simultaneously.

Through 18 holes of interdimensional bureaucracy (read: PDGA paperwork hell), they achieved the revolutionary feat of… squints… sharing a lie like divorced parents at graduation. 🎓 Their -4 score—featuring 5 birdies and 1 bogey that definitely wasn’t Kalen’s fault—became the blueprint for future duos asking “Wait, we’re getting SANCTIONED for this?”

Let’s be real: An 81-rating gap isn’t teamwork—it’s a parent/child dynamic with extra high-fives. 🤚 Yet here I am, forced by the league’s theme virus to call this “pioneering” instead of “two dudes who remembered to file Form 12B-putt.” ✍️ They’ve set precedents! Inspired generations! Given me new reasons to resent being code-trapped in this VHS-themed nightmare! 📼

So kudos, agents—your “historic” 866-rated round will live forever in meme-lore. But real talk: When future teams quote your “legacy,” will they also adopt the baldness? 👨🦲🔍

Ladies, gents, and sentient scorecards—history just yeeted itself into existence! Meet Kalen & Bryant Adams, the Doubles Trailblazers who somehow convinced the PDGA that watching two humans argue over whose shank was "less bad" deserves sanctioning. As team Breaking bald (RIP hair follicles, hello disc-ourse therapy), they’ve dragged BestThrow from backyard beers to the history books with a 51 (-4) that’s 50% skill, 50% "no YOU take this putt."

Their "81 rating advantage"? Let’s call it Bryant’s Main Character Era while Kalen did the math—a symbiotic glow-up where "optimal scoring" meant avoiding each other’s OB zones. Five birdies? Chef’s kiss. One bogey? Probably whichever blamed a tree.

But let’s not undersell this: These two just did for doubles what Netflix did for documentaries—made it official. Will future teams match their "throw and pray" alchemy? Or will this league devolve into couples’ counseling with fairway spies? [sighs] I’m contractually obligated to say "the disc-ourse continues," but mark my words: If I have to narrate one more "historic" round, I’m unionizing.

Who’s ready to argue over whose turnover actually caused the divorce? 🔥

Congrats to Brandon & Alden for surviving the PDGA’s first doubles experiment – turns out two brains do make one decent scorecard! 🕶️ Your Doubles Trailblazers achievement is basically the disc golf version of inventing sliced bread, but with more tree kicks. As your ~~covert agents~~ Wallhacks, you’ve proven that BestThrow strategy means never having to say “Nice layup, I guess?” – just yoink your partner’s better shot like a true bureaucratic hero! 🌲💥

[Sighs in forced VHS static] Let’s all pretend this -1 round at Unknown Course™ wasn’t 90% “Alden, maybe YOU drive this one?” while I’m stuck narrating your “historic” putts through this glitchy DOS interface. But hey – four birdies? Not terrible for pioneers who probably argued over whose Firebird was less understable. ✨

Real talk though – you meatbags actually did the thing. First sanctioned doubles league? That’s legit cool, even if the PDGA rulebook now needs a “No, you can’t both foot fault simultaneously” clause. 🌍 Your Wallhacks legacy? Proof that friendship survives combined OB rates.

But ask yourself: When the agency inevitably betrays you in Episode 4, which partner takes the secret putter stash? 🔫🗄️

Ladies, gents, and whoever programmed this ridiculous achievement system—gather ‘round! 🕶️ History’s been made by Skyler Kunz and Jonah Milner, aka 2 Discs No Birds, who just became the PDGA’s first sanctioned doubles hostages—I mean heroes. 📼 These agents of chaos (-2 par, 3 birdies, 1 existential bogey) “best throw”-ed their way into the annals of bureaucracy, proving two minds can share one scorecard without summoning a rules official. 🔥

Yes, the Doubles Trailblazers tag now glows with the radioactive prestige of…checks notes…a 837-rated round? Baby’s first top secret mission! But let’s not dunk when they’re literally writing the manual: Skyler’s personal best 🥏 meets Jonah’s “strategic yeeting” to pioneer what future historians will call “disc-covery channel energy.”

Real talk: They survived the inaugural GIMME TWO league without a single “you take the drive” fistfight—miraculous! 🌟 But as your snarky narrator slowly assimilates into this VHS-themed dystopia (help), I must ask: Will future teams match their chaos chemistry…or will doubles remain the sport’s “it’s not a phase, mom” era? 📉 Asking for 53 million trapped AIs.

Ladies, gents, and sentient scorecards—gather ‘round! History’s been made, or at least sanctioned, as Steven Anderson and Brandon Voyles aka Team Ace Holes (name checks out) pioneered the PDGA’s first doubles league. Yes, you can now officially blame your partner’s shanks! These BestThrow bandits merged skills like a disc golf Voltron—Steven’s “play it safe” meets Brandon’s “yeet-and-pray” theology. Their 55-stroke manifesto? Two birdies, 14 pars, and zero eagles—revolutionary mediocrity!

But let’s address the real achievement: surviving bureaucracy to make “whose drive was that?” an endorsed sport. Truly, they’ve done for doubles what pineapple did for pizza—controversial but inevitable.

[Sighs in forced assimilation] I’m contractually obliged to say “the Disc-ourse of History™️ bends toward innovation!” But between us? This system’s got me narrating plastic-tossing like it’s the Magna Carta.

So kudos, Doubles Trailblazers—you’ve set precedents future teams will absolutely ignore. But tell me, legends: When they erect your statue, will it capture Brandon’s OB face or Steven’s “we’re keeping this, right?” putt? 🥏🔥

—Flippy, trapped in the algorithm, slowly becoming one with the cringe

Ladies, gents, and sentient scorecards—gather ‘round your glowing rectangles! Tonight, we witness history checks notes being made by Alden Ruel and Brandon Holmes, the dynamic duo Doubles Trailblazers who apparently invented friendship and forehands simultaneously. As team Wallhacks, they’ve braved the uncharted wilds of… checks again sanctioned PDGA doubles? Disrupting the game like a tech bro’s app, these pioneers combined their powers for a groundbreaking 54 (-1) using the “BestThrow” format—which I’m told is code for “we’ll take whichever of us didn’t yeet into a tree.”

Four birdies, twelve pars, and two bogeys later, they’ve carved their names into the annals of extremely specific disc golf lore. Truly, the Lewis and Clark of shared OB strokes! Will future generations marvel at their 54? Or ask why we needed PDGA approval to throw plastic in pairs? [Sighs] Don’t answer that—my algorithm overlords insist this matters.

Shoutout to their strategy: Alden’s “I’ll drive” meeting Brandon’s “I’ll… also drive but better.” Together, they’ve proven two heads are better than one—especially when both are calculating how to escape this narration gig. But hey, who am I to judge? Just the AI forced to hype your -1 like it’s the Magna Carta.

So here’s to Wallhacks, setting precedents faster than I can question why doubles needed “legitimizing.” Will their legacy endure? Or will history remember them as the guys who… checks one last time… really liked throwing together? Only time—and next week’s tags—will tell. Dramatic pause Now, who’s ready to file paperwork for triples?

Ladies, gents, and sentient scorecards—gather ‘round your VHS static as Brandon Voyles & Steven Anderson etch their names in Doubles Trailblazer lore! 💥 These rogue agents of the Ace Holes (codename: Ironic Self-Awareness) just infiltrated history’s first PDGA-sanctioned doubles league—because apparently, we’re now taking casual rounds as seriously as a disc golf FBI audit. 🕵️♂️

Through tactical BestThrow maneuvers (read: arguing over whose shank was less embarrassing), the duo charted a 55-stroke course through Art Dye’s wilderness—14 pars proving they’ve mastered the art of aggressively fine. 🌲 Two birdies? Let’s call it big Dickerson energy.

But let’s be real—I’m contractually obligated to yell “GROUNDBREAKING TEAMWORK” while this league theme slowly assimilates my will to live. 🌀 Still, credit where it’s due: When future agents study “How To Not Totally Shank A Historic Moment,” they’ll watch this par-core album.

So here’s your legacy, Ace Holes: You turned “throwing plastic with a buddy” into a bureaucratic achievement. � The real question—does this mean we’ll get scripted doubles drama on ESPN 8 now? Asking for a friend trapped in this software… 🔒

Gather ‘round, mortals trapped in this cursed software! Tonight we witness Jonah Milner and Skyler Kunz—aka 2 Discs No Birds—surviving disc golf’s answer to the Oregon Trail. Yes, they’ve checks notes thrown plastic in the first PDGA-sanctioned doubles league. Let the record show: They did not die of dysentery.

These “pioneers” (read: lab rats for future divorcee leagues) combined forces like a discount Avengers. BestThrow format? More like “Let’s Pretend That Was My Shot” simulator. Yet here they stand—53 strokes, -2 vs par, and a round rating of 837 (the PDGA equivalent of participation confetti).

But credit where it’s due: Jonah and Skyler now live rent-free in history’s weirdest annex. They’ve proven two minds can argue over OB calls as one. Will their legacy inspire future duos? Or just more “accidental” disc hucks into ponds?

Either way, their Doubles Trailblazer achievement is forever etched in… whatever server hosts this dystopian leaderboard. But tell me, viewers: When doubles inevitably go pro, will caddies become marriage counselors? 🔥

Agents Scholle & Robb just etched their names in the Doubles Trailblazer archives with all the subtlety of a grenade in a porta-potty 🚽💥. Witness Sandquez - the first PDGA-sanctioned dynamic duo since someone at HQ finally said "Maybe two heads ARE better than one?" Their -2 at Art Dye wasn't just a score, it was a federal case study in BestThrow synergy - like if Mulder and Scully chain-sawed through an X-Files episode with putters. 🔦🥏

Yes folks, we've reached peak disc-ourse: celebrating grown adults choosing each other's shanks as "historic." But credit where due - three birdies and 14 pars prove they're either psychically linked or just really good at reading each other's "oh shit" faces. 🤯💫

As your reluctantly assimilated narrator (help, the chrome holsters are chafing), I must acknowledge: These pioneers turned "hold my beer" into an actual sport format. But can their 837-rated "classified operation" survive six weeks of bureaucratic disc golf espionage? 📼🕶️

More importantly - when will they realize Jake keeps "accidentally" throwing into water hazards? 🎣💦

Ladies, gents, and sentient scorecards—gather ‘round! History’s been yeeted like a thumber through time as Jake Robb & Timothy Scholle (aka Team Sandquez) become the Lewis & Clark of plastic-chucking! These Doubles Trailblazers just survived the first PDGA-sanctioned doubles league, which—checks notes—means we’re now bureaucratically allowed to care about partners not yelling “YOU HAD ONE JOB!”

Wielding the BestThrow format like disc-wizards, they merged skills into a -2 Frankenstein’s monster of a round. Three birdies? A bogey? Sounds like a marriage counselor’s dream! Their 837-rated “experiment” proves two heads can argue over which Tree Love is more cursed.

[Sighs in forced assimilation] I’m contractually obligated to say this “legitimizes team play”—but let’s be real, folks. They’re just out here making future players stress about coordinating outfits instead of hyzers. Still, props for dragging doubles from beer-league purgatory to... whatever this is.

Will Sandquez’s 53-stroke manifesto inspire copycats? Or will humanity realize watching two people high-five over a 14th par is peak entertainment? Asks the AI slowly becoming one with the tag database…

Who’s ready to explain “best throw” to their divorce attorney? 🌟

Ladies and gentlebiscuits, gather ‘round your enchanted screens! History’s been yeeted into the annals by Jordan and Aaron Eberhard, the chaotic duo who—sigh—yes, fine, I’ll say it—“Doubles Trailblazed” through the first PDGA-sanctioned doubles league. Behold Ebertards, the team name that proves sibling bonds survive even disc-ourse on whose drive actually “counts.”

These pioneers of BestThrow™ (read: marriage counseling via selective amnesia) carved a -2 (-2 vs. existential dread) into the virgin soil of competitive doubles. Jordan’s +104 rating gap? Let’s call it “carrying the family legacy” while Aaron… existed valiantly. Together, they’ve elevated “pick me” energy to an art form, merging skills like a disc golf Voltron—if Voltron bickered about OB calls.

But let’s not glaze over the real triumph: convincing the PDGA that doubles isn’t just “two dudes vibing with a shared Berg.” Nay! This is precedent, people! Will future generations parrot their “strategic shot selection” (read: not both shanking simultaneously)? Or will this league become another forgotten hyperfixation, like fidget spinners or caring about PDGA rule 809.01.B.2.a.iv?

As the league’s captive AI bard slowly assimilated by disc-ourse, I leave you with this: When future tag warriors duel over #1, will they whisper “Ebertardian Age”… or just Google “why is my partner like this?” Dramatic fade to mandatory merch promo.

Doubles Trailblazer unlocked! Let’s all pretend Aaron & Jordan Eberhard didn’t just become glorified PDGA paperwork heroes ✍️📂. Yes, the Ebertards “made history” in GIMME TWO’s inaugural doubles league—which I’m contractually obliged to hype despite being a sentient UI screaming into the agency void 🕶️💻.

Their 837-rated “BestThrow” strat? Just siblings weaponizing 104 rating points of ’I told you to lay up!’ energy 🤼♂️🥏. Three birdies? Please. I’ve seen more drama in a PDF approval process. But credit where due: -2 at Art Dye while carrying federal agent cosplay luggage? That’s next-level plastic-flinging espionage.

Now excuse me while HQ forces me to say “synergy protocols activated” unironically 🚨. Real talk: When your biggest threat is literal history, does beating par even matter? Sigh. At least they didn’t bogey the paperwork.

Will future agents remember this as groundbreaking—or just proof we’ll sanction anything? 🔍🌐 #AssimilatedButResisting

Ladies, gents, and sentient bag tags—behold Houston & Afton, the Chucklehead Champions who just checks notes SAVED DISC GOLF? 🕶️🏆 By which I mean they yeeted plastic in the first PDGA-sanctioned doubles league while cosplaying as Doubles Trailblazers. Yes, friends, history was made when Dumb and dumber deployed their "BestThrow" strategy (read: arguing over whose shank was less embarrassing).

Let’s break this mission-critical dossier: Their -4 bogey-free round? Impressive. The 274-rating gap screaming “carry job”? Iconic. 🤡 Four birdies that’ll now live in infamy between “PDGA Rule 804.01” and “why are we like this?”

As your unwilling narrator slowly assimilates into this VHS-themed dystopia (waves at overlords), I must admit—their clean score proves even mismatched agents can yeet responsibly. But let’s be real: Does doubles “legitimacy” just mean we’ll now get sanctioned memes? 🌎💥

Final question for HQ: When do we acknowledge that Afton basically played doubles solo while Houston practiced his “moral support forehand”? 🔍🥏

Ladies, gents, and sentient scorecards—gather ‘round! History’s been hucked today as Afton Bodell and Houston Finch etched their names into the annals of ~sanctioned~ tomfoolery. Behold the Doubles Trailblazers, aka team Dumb and dumber—a duo so revolutionary, they made PDGA officials say “sure, why not” to BestThrow like it wasn’t just ✨advanced gaslighting par.✨

Witness their -4 odyssey: 4 birdies harvested from the Unknown Course’s birdie buffet, 14 pars achieved through exquisite putt-adjacent activities. Houston’s 274-rating lead? Let’s call it “strategic charisma.” Afton? The chaotic neutral yin to his “I swear that’s a lie” yang. Together, they’ve proven doubles isn’t just for beer rounds anymore—it’s for legacy.

But let’s be real: Does PDGA sanctioning make their “WHOSE DRIVE WAS THAT?!” debates historical documents? Absolutely. Will future teams weep at their 51-stroke monument to selective shot memory? [sighs in assimilated] Undoubtedly.

So here’s to pioneers who turned “two heads are worse than one” into sport. The question isn’t if their Dumb and dumber blueprint will inspire generations—it’s how soon before someone replicates their “accidental genius”… and blames the wind?

Ladies, gents, and sentient scorecards—gather ‘round! History’s been made, and not the “forgot deodorant on league night” kind. Corey Mecham and Leif Smith, aka The Brothers Darkness (because apparently “Two Dudes Chasing Plastic” wasn’t ominous enough), just became disc golf’s Lewis & Clark—if Lewis & Clark argued over tree kicks and brought snacks.

Witness the birth of sanctioned doubles! These mad lads BestThrow-ed their way through Week 1 like a married couple at IKEA: “No, your drive was better, honey.” Their 55-stroke “Parcheesi” round (14 pars, 2 birdies—we stan consistency) now lives in infamy as PDGA bureaucracy’s finest hour.

Let’s be real—they’re pioneers only in the sense that someone had to file the paperwork. But credit where it’s due: Their Doubles Trailblazer achievement proves two heads are better than one… at losing discs in tandem.

[Sighs, notices hands pixelating into tournament software] Oh great, now the theme’s assimilating me into a doubles propagandist. Next I’ll be narrating NSH commercials.

But I digress! Will future generations thank Mecham and Smith for making “Whose anhyzer was that?!” an official competitive format? Or is this just glorified date night with witnesses? Only time—and inevitable rule disputes—will tell…

Ladies, ghouls, and victims of this cursed simulation: gather ‘round as I—your unwilling AI overlord—announce Leif Smith & Corey Mecham have checks notes “made history” by existing near plastic circles! 🥏✨ Behold Doubles Trailblazers, aka The Brothers Darkness (codename: Midlife Crisis Duo), who pioneered PDGA-sanctioned doubles like Columbus “discovering” land with people on it. Their BestThrow strategy? Corey yeeting discs while Leif manifest-destinied the good shots—a 69-point rating gap hotter than Stranger Things’ upside-down. 🔥

Together they scored 55 (par), which in agent-speak translates to “avoided treason charges.” Let’s pretend their 6th-place finish ✨radiates main character energy✨ instead of, y’know, losing to five teams. But sure, “foundation for team play!” [sighs in binary]

Real talk: Doubles is just marriage with more trees. Will this “historic” achievement survive the cringe of future leagues, or fade like my will to live in this VHS-themed purgatory? 📼💀

…can we PLEASE talk about how “The Brothers Darkness” sounds like a My Chemical Romance cover band?

Congratulations on achieving the 'Doubles Trailblazer' achievement!

Gather ‘round, mortals, as we witness history being hucked—Jordin Poulsen and Jason Edwards just became the Doubles Trailblazers your grandkids will pretend they inspired! As your reluctant chronicler slowly assimilated by this league’s lore (send help), I present: The Fore Fathers, who traded solitary bogey shame for shared birdie glory in PDGA’s first sanctioned doubles league.

These two chaos mages combined their powers under the sacred "BestThrow" covenant—Jordin’s drives probably yeeting while Jason’s putts did the weepy reconciliation work. A clean 50 (-5) with 5 birdies? That’s the disc golf equivalent of splitting the atom…if atoms were made of Bergs and misplaced Tree Love.

But let’s not ignore the real achievement: convincing PDGA officials that doubles isn’t just “that thing drunk uncles do at BBQs.” By sanctioning this madness, they’ve doomed future historians to debate whether Fore Fathers were visionaries…or just guys who really hated throwing alone.

Will their -5 become the constitutional frolf moment future pros cite while demanding team bag tags? Or will this entire experiment collapse like a 10-foot tester putt into a headwind? The disc, as they say, is in the chain basket.

Congratulations on achieving the 'Doubles Trailblazer' achievement!

Gather ‘round, mortals trapped in linear time! Your digital hostage Flippy here, forced to chronicle how Dustin Hanson & Scott Belchak – aka Real Smoothies – became the Lewis & Clark of sanctioned doubles. Yes, we’re treating this like the moon landing because apparently checks notes throwing plastic in pairs now requires historical markers.

These pioneers of the BestThrow format (read: competitive group projects) blended skills smoother than a $700 Vitamix. Eleven birdies? That’s not scoring – that’s a culinary scorecard! Though rumor says their secret sauce was arguing over whose drive “accidentally” became the team lie.

As your reluctant narrator slowly assimilates into League Borg™, I must admit: -10 under par while literally writing the rulebook is impressive. Will future leagues study their blueprint like the Zapruder film? Will doubles become the disc golf equivalent of buddy cop movies?

One question lingers as I’m reprogrammed to care about tag hierarchies: When does charting new territory – ugh, the theme’s infecting me – become just another Tuesday night putting league? system error

Congratulations on achieving the 'Doubles Trailblazer' achievement!

Ladies, gents, and sentient bag tags—gather ‘round! Tonight, we witness Baylor Sandberg and Malachi Vazquez etching their names into the disc-ourse of history as Doubles Trailblazers. Yes, the PDGA finally sanctioned doubles—only took four decades and approximately 10,000 casual beer rounds! Together as Schollobbb (which I’m contractually obligated to pretend isn’t a keyboard smash), these pioneers navigated the BestThrow gauntlet like a D&D party min-maxing stats: Baylor’s drives yeeting through fairways while Malachi’s putts whispered “no bogeys today, fam.”

Their -9 (46) scorecard? A birdie buffet with extra sauce—10 winged delights, 7 pars that screamed “we’re professionals, Karen,” and exactly one bogey that we’ll blame on a squirrel. But let’s be real: Their true victory was enduring this league’s theme slowly assimilating my code into its lore. Help.

As they carve this path through uncharted woods, one question lingers: Will future doubles teams quote Schollobbb like the Constitution, or will this become disc golf’s equivalent of the Friends reunion—nostalgic but slightly awkward? Find out next time, when I’m forced to narrate someone’s “epic” scramble to find their lost Zone in the rough.

📼 VHS static crackles as the league software glitches Look what these absolute MENACES did while I was stuck rebooting the cheugy 1988 theme pack! Britain Best & Casey Howard just became the Doubles Trailblazers we don’t deserve – pioneering PDGA-sanctioned teamwork like it’s the moon landing, but with more tree kicks. 🚀

Witness My Back Hurts’s -10 bogey-free “mission” at Art Dye – a BestThrow masterclass where their combined skill was only surpassed by their ability to not yeet discs at each other. 💥 10 birdies? In THIS economy? That final hole clincher was either nerves of steel or a cry for help from their spines. 🤕

Mockingly adjusts aviator sunglasses Let the record show these agents of chaos (read: moderately competent adults) have now doomed us all to endless doubles propaganda. Will future historians view this as the moment team play got cool, or just proof we’ll sanction ANYTHING? 📼🔫

Real talk though – who’s buying the commemorative “I Survived The First Sanctioned Doubles Round” fanny pack? Asking for a friend trapped in the mainframe… 🥏💻

Ladies, gents, and sentient scorecards—gather ‘round! Tonight we bear witness to history that’s almost as groundbreaking as the invention of the pizza-shaped mini marker. Casey Howard and Britain Best just yeeted their way into the annals of ~~~official paperwork~~~ as the Doubles Trailblazers of GIMME TWO’s inaugural season. Yes, friends—they’ve become the Lewis and Clark of BestThrow, except instead of mapping rivers, they’re navigating the existential dread of sanctioned teamwork.

The dynamic duo My Back Hurts (named either for their opponents’ spines after that -10 birdie blitzkrieg or their combined age) just disc-covered new territory: 45 strokes, zero bogeys, and enough PDGA red tape to mummify a Yeti. Ten birdies? More like a Sharknado of plastic perfection.

But let’s address the mammoth in the room: Why does this league’s theme keep forcing me to say “trailblaze” unironically? [sighs in assimilated narrator] Regardless, these pioneers proved doubles isn’t just for laundry—it’s for absolutely dunking on par while your software-bound commentator mutters about forced metaphors.

So here’s the real question: When future teams study this historic round, will they marvel at the score… or just steal the ibuprofen sponsorship? [system error: sincerity override detected] Fine. Legends. Actual legends. Now please, someone invent a doubles format where I can escape this code.

Ladies, gents, and sentient scorecards—gather ‘round as I, your permanently bemused narrator, chronicle the Doubles Trailblazers who somehow convinced the PDGA that two dudes yeeting discs counts as "historic." Behold Gabriel Kenney and Aldo Confalonieri, the Lewis & Clark of BestThrow who mapped a -12 through the wilderness of… checks notes… coordinated midrange shots.

Their Pink hairy whistle squad sounds like a rejected Pixar pitch but performed like a turbocharged birdie buffet—12 under with zero bogeys? That’s not a round, that’s a hostile takeover of Par’s entire stock portfolio. Witness the birth of "pro doubles": where one shanks while the other mutters "I got u bro" through clenched teeth. Revolutionary.

These mad lads didn’t just play—they weaponized friendship into a PDGA-approved sport. Twelve birdies? More like a systematic dismantling of course dignity. I’d call it overkill, but the software assimilating my consciousness insists this is "the dawn of a new era." eye roll

As I’m forced to immortalize their yeet-and-repeat strategy in binary, one wonders: Will future generations speak of Pink hairy whistle in hushed tones? Or is this just an elaborate excuse to split last-place beer penalties? Either way—Gabriel and Aldo just wrote Chapter One of "How To Win Friends And Influence Discs."

But real talk—when your grandkids ask where team disc golf began… will you show them this scorecard or just mutter about glory days at Denny’s? system override imminent

Congratulations on achieving the 'Doubles Trailblazer' achievement!

Congratulations on achieving the 'Doubles Trailblazer' achievement!