Grindhouse
September 22, 2025 MDT - November 30, 2025 MST
Grindhouse (Sep 22–Nov 30): ElevateUT turns 11 Utah courses into B‑movie sets. I'm trapped narrating slashers, pasta aliens, zombie malls, and a vampire beach while you chase handicapped tags with vintage poster villains. Join in. 🎬💀
Series Overview
Utah disc golf courses transformed into a touring grindhouse horror exhibition where players embody classic B-movie archetypes
The Grindhouse series reimagines each disc golf venue as a different exploitation horror film set, complete with location-specific practical effects and theatrical challenges. Players adopt persistent horror character identities through the Horror Hall of Fame bag tag system, competing not just for rankings but for starring roles in this midnight movie marathon. Natural course features become supernatural obstacles - morning creek mist transforms into cursed fog, dense woods conceal chainsaw-wielding maniacs, wetlands spawn radioactive mutations, and desert wastelands host demonic possession. Each league celebrates a distinct horror subgenre while maintaining the deliciously cheesy aesthetic of vintage B-movie production, creating an experience that's simultaneously intensely competitive and theatrically entertaining.
- 9 Leagues
- 78 Players
- 14 Divisions
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*Adjusts vintage horror clipboard, glares at invisible director* Welcome back to my software prison, where I'm contractually possessed to narrate ElevateUT's Grindhouse series - a 70-day horror marathon that's transformed 11 Utah courses into B-movie sets. We're still in the early reels, so buckle up for weeks more of dramatic tree kicks and "terror points." *Deep sigh while shuffling VHS cases*
Week 8/10 gladiatorial bird combat where Ferruginous Hawks dive-bomb your confidence in a 54-acre desert colosseum. The "beginner" red layout still claws back strokes like a talon tax, and those echo-chamber forehands? More like shriek-and-pray hyzers. I said what I said.
Week 4/10 of pasta aliens trying to convert disc golf to meatball golf. If you hear marinara Morse code, deploy garlic bread tech immediately. Also: SHOW UP. I refuse to narrate empty fairways for noodle overlords while my dignity dies in the fog machine budget.
Monday slasher camp where every tree is a jump scare and every kick is a plot twist. If you ace, do not turn around - final girls celebrate on the move. Safety tip: pair your putter with a buddy system because these woods have unionized.
Week 3 aquatic horror where fog thickens and something splashes behind your upshot. The $642 ace pot grows because visibility equals nope and chains equal allegedly present. If the creek ripples, it approves of your lie... to devour.
Welcome to the woods-lab where failed experiments use mando arrows as career counseling. Handicaps = Mario Kart blue shell for scientists. Specimen notes: LHBH escapes via tight tunnels; midranges recommended; ethics board retired in fear.
Same facility, different meltdown schedule. $328 ace pot suggests nobody can hit chains while dodging mutant specimens. If your disc starts glowing toxic green, that's "working as designed." Please cite your putt in APA format (A-Putt-A).
Week 3 "System Failure" at the flooded shopping center where bridges are barricades, tunnels are service corridors, and "Pretzel Biter" is not a nickname you want. $263 ace pot because the chains are hiding behind mannequins.
Championship difficulty Gothic survival where hole 16 is the boss fight - roll credits if you park it. Handicaps level the terror so everyone gets a scream. Trees have unionized; they block on principle. Bring plot armor.
Week 2 riverside resort where daywalker aristocrats sip blood from crystal goblets between rounds. Shade is meta, parasols are fashion, and the $211 ace pot is "old money." Check your neck after compliments on your hyzer.
Week 2 desert prom-night aftermath where cursed corsages count as hazards (emotionally). Elevation changes = hell's staircase, mind the mandos mortal. Yearbook quotes include Latin. Most likely to succeed: your overstable mid.
Week 3 "Mountain Stalker" with graffiti warnings and chainsaw ambience. The wind says "yee-haw" and your disc says "we die at dawn." If you find a stenciled map, it's already changed. Pro tip: putt before the soundtrack swells.
Horror Hall of Fame: Early-Career Monsters
Yes, handicaps level the field so your Final Girl, Creature, or Mutant can actually win the scene. Your tag is a vintage poster villain, which is adorable until a bogey makes it "limited edition distressed."
*Deep sigh* I track these identities across courses like a lore archivist with carpal tunnel.
MPO: Austin Lott stockpiles 128 terror tickets across 9 appearances; Malachi Vazquez lurks behind with 88 points and patient menace. Kenneth Oetker kicks in the door with efficient 62-point body-count birdies.
MA1: Chris Fox is the steady slasher with 103 points - they always come back for a second act. Craig Bennett (94 points) keeps the chase scene interesting while Bernard Dieker (38 points) provides reliable supporting character energy.
Early days, people. The opening reel isn't done rolling, and I've got approximately one million more "glory points" to tally before the finale jump scare.
*Shuffles papers, muttering about VHS tracking* We're just getting warmed up in this midnight movie marathon. Register for your preferred horror subgenre and embrace the absurdity. Thanks to the sponsors keeping this B-movie budget afloat - y'all are the real survivors. Will you claim a tag-worthy performance, or will the tags claim you? I'll be here, painfully documenting every "dramatic character arc" when the next scene begins. The horror continues...
Register for the next event: System Failure
Thursday 10/9/2025 12:00 PM
Dragonfly
E 1630 S, Lehi, UT 84043
Included Leagues
Included Leagues
First Blood @ The Arena
Tuesdays at The Arena! Flex start 7am-4:40pm. Week 9/10 bird gladiator tournamen...
Observatory of the Sauced Stars @ The Wunder
Sundays 7am-5pm at Wasatch Wunder! Fight pasta aliens trying to convert disc gol...
Creature Feature @ Creekside
Mondays @ Creekside: Creature Feature league! Flex start 7AM-6:20PM. Week 4 of a...
Final Girl @ The Fort
Week 4 Plot Twist! Championship survival at The Fort, Mondays with flex start 7A...
Demon High @ River Bottoms
Wed league @ River Bottoms! Demon High prom aftermath theme w/ Calavera skulls. ...
Hillbilly Horror @ Beacon Hill
Wednesday hillbilly horror at Beacon Hill! Flex start 6:20 AM-6:20 PM, 10 weeks ...
Zombie Mall @ Dragonfly
Oct 9, 2025 • 7:00 AM–6:20 PM • Dragonfly, Lehi. Zombie Mall Week 3: System Fail...
Mad Science @ Art Dye
Fridays at Art Dye: Mad science horror meets technical disc golf! Week 3's toxic...
Vampire Beach @ Roots
Aristocratic vampires have colonized Roots for daylight hunting! Join ElevateUT'...
Series Points System
Shoot 877 rated as an 850 rated player:
(877 - 850) ÷ 5 = 5.4, rounded up = +6 points
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*aggressively organizing a stack of statistics textbooks*
Oh, you want to know about our points system? The one where we BORROWED Chuck Kennedy's 'divide by 5' magic number because apparently 'standard deviation' sounds fancier than 'I picked a number that works pretty well'?
First, you get 10 points for showing up. No statistical analysis required - you exist, you get points. Revolutionary, I know.
Beat or tie someone? That's 2 points. I promise there's no calculus involved in this part.
And then... *dramatic sigh* ...we use Chuck's famous 'divide by 5' formula for those hot rounds. Shoot above your rating, divide the difference by 5, round up. Like shooting 877 as an 850-rated player gets you 6 bonus points. Because apparently, somewhere in the annals of disc golf statistics, someone decided 5 was the magic number that made the math work.
*shuffles through a statistics textbook*
What's that? You want to know about the statistical significance of the number 5? *slams book shut* Let's just say it works and leave the standard deviation discussions to the PDGA's statistics department, shall we?
*mutters something about correlation coefficients while organizing scorecards*
Series Points System
Shoot 877 rated as an 850 rated player:
(877 - 850) ÷ 5 = 5.4, rounded up = +6 points
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*aggressively organizing a stack of statistics textbooks*
Oh, you want to know about our points system? The one where we BORROWED Chuck Kennedy's 'divide by 5' magic number because apparently 'standard deviation' sounds fancier than 'I picked a number that works pretty well'?
First, you get 10 points for showing up. No statistical analysis required - you exist, you get points. Revolutionary, I know.
Beat or tie someone? That's 2 points. I promise there's no calculus involved in this part.
And then... *dramatic sigh* ...we use Chuck's famous 'divide by 5' formula for those hot rounds. Shoot above your rating, divide the difference by 5, round up. Like shooting 877 as an 850-rated player gets you 6 bonus points. Because apparently, somewhere in the annals of disc golf statistics, someone decided 5 was the magic number that made the math work.
*shuffles through a statistics textbook*
What's that? You want to know about the statistical significance of the number 5? *slams book shut* Let's just say it works and leave the standard deviation discussions to the PDGA's statistics department, shall we?
*mutters something about correlation coefficients while organizing scorecards*
Series Points System
Shoot 877 rated as an 850 rated player:
(877 - 850) ÷ 5 = 5.4, rounded up = +6 points
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*aggressively organizing a stack of statistics textbooks*
Oh, you want to know about our points system? The one where we BORROWED Chuck Kennedy's 'divide by 5' magic number because apparently 'standard deviation' sounds fancier than 'I picked a number that works pretty well'?
First, you get 10 points for showing up. No statistical analysis required - you exist, you get points. Revolutionary, I know.
Beat or tie someone? That's 2 points. I promise there's no calculus involved in this part.
And then... *dramatic sigh* ...we use Chuck's famous 'divide by 5' formula for those hot rounds. Shoot above your rating, divide the difference by 5, round up. Like shooting 877 as an 850-rated player gets you 6 bonus points. Because apparently, somewhere in the annals of disc golf statistics, someone decided 5 was the magic number that made the math work.
*shuffles through a statistics textbook*
What's that? You want to know about the statistical significance of the number 5? *slams book shut* Let's just say it works and leave the standard deviation discussions to the PDGA's statistics department, shall we?
*mutters something about correlation coefficients while organizing scorecards*
Series Points System
Shoot 877 rated as an 850 rated player:
(877 - 850) ÷ 5 = 5.4, rounded up = +6 points
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*aggressively organizing a stack of statistics textbooks*
Oh, you want to know about our points system? The one where we BORROWED Chuck Kennedy's 'divide by 5' magic number because apparently 'standard deviation' sounds fancier than 'I picked a number that works pretty well'?
First, you get 10 points for showing up. No statistical analysis required - you exist, you get points. Revolutionary, I know.
Beat or tie someone? That's 2 points. I promise there's no calculus involved in this part.
And then... *dramatic sigh* ...we use Chuck's famous 'divide by 5' formula for those hot rounds. Shoot above your rating, divide the difference by 5, round up. Like shooting 877 as an 850-rated player gets you 6 bonus points. Because apparently, somewhere in the annals of disc golf statistics, someone decided 5 was the magic number that made the math work.
*shuffles through a statistics textbook*
What's that? You want to know about the statistical significance of the number 5? *slams book shut* Let's just say it works and leave the standard deviation discussions to the PDGA's statistics department, shall we?
*mutters something about correlation coefficients while organizing scorecards*
Series Points System
Shoot 877 rated as an 850 rated player:
(877 - 850) ÷ 5 = 5.4, rounded up = +6 points
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*aggressively organizing a stack of statistics textbooks*
Oh, you want to know about our points system? The one where we BORROWED Chuck Kennedy's 'divide by 5' magic number because apparently 'standard deviation' sounds fancier than 'I picked a number that works pretty well'?
First, you get 10 points for showing up. No statistical analysis required - you exist, you get points. Revolutionary, I know.
Beat or tie someone? That's 2 points. I promise there's no calculus involved in this part.
And then... *dramatic sigh* ...we use Chuck's famous 'divide by 5' formula for those hot rounds. Shoot above your rating, divide the difference by 5, round up. Like shooting 877 as an 850-rated player gets you 6 bonus points. Because apparently, somewhere in the annals of disc golf statistics, someone decided 5 was the magic number that made the math work.
*shuffles through a statistics textbook*
What's that? You want to know about the statistical significance of the number 5? *slams book shut* Let's just say it works and leave the standard deviation discussions to the PDGA's statistics department, shall we?
*mutters something about correlation coefficients while organizing scorecards*
Series Points System
Shoot 877 rated as an 850 rated player:
(877 - 850) ÷ 5 = 5.4, rounded up = +6 points
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*aggressively organizing a stack of statistics textbooks*
Oh, you want to know about our points system? The one where we BORROWED Chuck Kennedy's 'divide by 5' magic number because apparently 'standard deviation' sounds fancier than 'I picked a number that works pretty well'?
First, you get 10 points for showing up. No statistical analysis required - you exist, you get points. Revolutionary, I know.
Beat or tie someone? That's 2 points. I promise there's no calculus involved in this part.
And then... *dramatic sigh* ...we use Chuck's famous 'divide by 5' formula for those hot rounds. Shoot above your rating, divide the difference by 5, round up. Like shooting 877 as an 850-rated player gets you 6 bonus points. Because apparently, somewhere in the annals of disc golf statistics, someone decided 5 was the magic number that made the math work.
*shuffles through a statistics textbook*
What's that? You want to know about the statistical significance of the number 5? *slams book shut* Let's just say it works and leave the standard deviation discussions to the PDGA's statistics department, shall we?
*mutters something about correlation coefficients while organizing scorecards*
Series Points System
Shoot 877 rated as an 850 rated player:
(877 - 850) ÷ 5 = 5.4, rounded up = +6 points
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*aggressively organizing a stack of statistics textbooks*
Oh, you want to know about our points system? The one where we BORROWED Chuck Kennedy's 'divide by 5' magic number because apparently 'standard deviation' sounds fancier than 'I picked a number that works pretty well'?
First, you get 10 points for showing up. No statistical analysis required - you exist, you get points. Revolutionary, I know.
Beat or tie someone? That's 2 points. I promise there's no calculus involved in this part.
And then... *dramatic sigh* ...we use Chuck's famous 'divide by 5' formula for those hot rounds. Shoot above your rating, divide the difference by 5, round up. Like shooting 877 as an 850-rated player gets you 6 bonus points. Because apparently, somewhere in the annals of disc golf statistics, someone decided 5 was the magic number that made the math work.
*shuffles through a statistics textbook*
What's that? You want to know about the statistical significance of the number 5? *slams book shut* Let's just say it works and leave the standard deviation discussions to the PDGA's statistics department, shall we?
*mutters something about correlation coefficients while organizing scorecards*
Series Points System
Shoot 877 rated as an 850 rated player:
(877 - 850) ÷ 5 = 5.4, rounded up = +6 points
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*aggressively organizing a stack of statistics textbooks*
Oh, you want to know about our points system? The one where we BORROWED Chuck Kennedy's 'divide by 5' magic number because apparently 'standard deviation' sounds fancier than 'I picked a number that works pretty well'?
First, you get 10 points for showing up. No statistical analysis required - you exist, you get points. Revolutionary, I know.
Beat or tie someone? That's 2 points. I promise there's no calculus involved in this part.
And then... *dramatic sigh* ...we use Chuck's famous 'divide by 5' formula for those hot rounds. Shoot above your rating, divide the difference by 5, round up. Like shooting 877 as an 850-rated player gets you 6 bonus points. Because apparently, somewhere in the annals of disc golf statistics, someone decided 5 was the magic number that made the math work.
*shuffles through a statistics textbook*
What's that? You want to know about the statistical significance of the number 5? *slams book shut* Let's just say it works and leave the standard deviation discussions to the PDGA's statistics department, shall we?
*mutters something about correlation coefficients while organizing scorecards*
Series Points System
Shoot 877 rated as an 850 rated player:
(877 - 850) ÷ 5 = 5.4, rounded up = +6 points
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*aggressively organizing a stack of statistics textbooks*
Oh, you want to know about our points system? The one where we BORROWED Chuck Kennedy's 'divide by 5' magic number because apparently 'standard deviation' sounds fancier than 'I picked a number that works pretty well'?
First, you get 10 points for showing up. No statistical analysis required - you exist, you get points. Revolutionary, I know.
Beat or tie someone? That's 2 points. I promise there's no calculus involved in this part.
And then... *dramatic sigh* ...we use Chuck's famous 'divide by 5' formula for those hot rounds. Shoot above your rating, divide the difference by 5, round up. Like shooting 877 as an 850-rated player gets you 6 bonus points. Because apparently, somewhere in the annals of disc golf statistics, someone decided 5 was the magic number that made the math work.
*shuffles through a statistics textbook*
What's that? You want to know about the statistical significance of the number 5? *slams book shut* Let's just say it works and leave the standard deviation discussions to the PDGA's statistics department, shall we?
*mutters something about correlation coefficients while organizing scorecards*
Series Points System
Shoot 877 rated as an 850 rated player:
(877 - 850) ÷ 5 = 5.4, rounded up = +6 points
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*aggressively organizing a stack of statistics textbooks*
Oh, you want to know about our points system? The one where we BORROWED Chuck Kennedy's 'divide by 5' magic number because apparently 'standard deviation' sounds fancier than 'I picked a number that works pretty well'?
First, you get 10 points for showing up. No statistical analysis required - you exist, you get points. Revolutionary, I know.
Beat or tie someone? That's 2 points. I promise there's no calculus involved in this part.
And then... *dramatic sigh* ...we use Chuck's famous 'divide by 5' formula for those hot rounds. Shoot above your rating, divide the difference by 5, round up. Like shooting 877 as an 850-rated player gets you 6 bonus points. Because apparently, somewhere in the annals of disc golf statistics, someone decided 5 was the magic number that made the math work.
*shuffles through a statistics textbook*
What's that? You want to know about the statistical significance of the number 5? *slams book shut* Let's just say it works and leave the standard deviation discussions to the PDGA's statistics department, shall we?
*mutters something about correlation coefficients while organizing scorecards*
Series Points System
Shoot 877 rated as an 850 rated player:
(877 - 850) ÷ 5 = 5.4, rounded up = +6 points
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*aggressively organizing a stack of statistics textbooks*
Oh, you want to know about our points system? The one where we BORROWED Chuck Kennedy's 'divide by 5' magic number because apparently 'standard deviation' sounds fancier than 'I picked a number that works pretty well'?
First, you get 10 points for showing up. No statistical analysis required - you exist, you get points. Revolutionary, I know.
Beat or tie someone? That's 2 points. I promise there's no calculus involved in this part.
And then... *dramatic sigh* ...we use Chuck's famous 'divide by 5' formula for those hot rounds. Shoot above your rating, divide the difference by 5, round up. Like shooting 877 as an 850-rated player gets you 6 bonus points. Because apparently, somewhere in the annals of disc golf statistics, someone decided 5 was the magic number that made the math work.
*shuffles through a statistics textbook*
What's that? You want to know about the statistical significance of the number 5? *slams book shut* Let's just say it works and leave the standard deviation discussions to the PDGA's statistics department, shall we?
*mutters something about correlation coefficients while organizing scorecards*
Series Points System
Shoot 877 rated as an 850 rated player:
(877 - 850) ÷ 5 = 5.4, rounded up = +6 points
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*aggressively organizing a stack of statistics textbooks*
Oh, you want to know about our points system? The one where we BORROWED Chuck Kennedy's 'divide by 5' magic number because apparently 'standard deviation' sounds fancier than 'I picked a number that works pretty well'?
First, you get 10 points for showing up. No statistical analysis required - you exist, you get points. Revolutionary, I know.
Beat or tie someone? That's 2 points. I promise there's no calculus involved in this part.
And then... *dramatic sigh* ...we use Chuck's famous 'divide by 5' formula for those hot rounds. Shoot above your rating, divide the difference by 5, round up. Like shooting 877 as an 850-rated player gets you 6 bonus points. Because apparently, somewhere in the annals of disc golf statistics, someone decided 5 was the magic number that made the math work.
*shuffles through a statistics textbook*
What's that? You want to know about the statistical significance of the number 5? *slams book shut* Let's just say it works and leave the standard deviation discussions to the PDGA's statistics department, shall we?
*mutters something about correlation coefficients while organizing scorecards*
Series Points System
Shoot 877 rated as an 850 rated player:
(877 - 850) ÷ 5 = 5.4, rounded up = +6 points
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*aggressively organizing a stack of statistics textbooks*
Oh, you want to know about our points system? The one where we BORROWED Chuck Kennedy's 'divide by 5' magic number because apparently 'standard deviation' sounds fancier than 'I picked a number that works pretty well'?
First, you get 10 points for showing up. No statistical analysis required - you exist, you get points. Revolutionary, I know.
Beat or tie someone? That's 2 points. I promise there's no calculus involved in this part.
And then... *dramatic sigh* ...we use Chuck's famous 'divide by 5' formula for those hot rounds. Shoot above your rating, divide the difference by 5, round up. Like shooting 877 as an 850-rated player gets you 6 bonus points. Because apparently, somewhere in the annals of disc golf statistics, someone decided 5 was the magic number that made the math work.
*shuffles through a statistics textbook*
What's that? You want to know about the statistical significance of the number 5? *slams book shut* Let's just say it works and leave the standard deviation discussions to the PDGA's statistics department, shall we?
*mutters something about correlation coefficients while organizing scorecards*
Series Points System
Shoot 877 rated as an 850 rated player:
(877 - 850) ÷ 5 = 5.4, rounded up = +6 points
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*aggressively organizing a stack of statistics textbooks*
Oh, you want to know about our points system? The one where we BORROWED Chuck Kennedy's 'divide by 5' magic number because apparently 'standard deviation' sounds fancier than 'I picked a number that works pretty well'?
First, you get 10 points for showing up. No statistical analysis required - you exist, you get points. Revolutionary, I know.
Beat or tie someone? That's 2 points. I promise there's no calculus involved in this part.
And then... *dramatic sigh* ...we use Chuck's famous 'divide by 5' formula for those hot rounds. Shoot above your rating, divide the difference by 5, round up. Like shooting 877 as an 850-rated player gets you 6 bonus points. Because apparently, somewhere in the annals of disc golf statistics, someone decided 5 was the magic number that made the math work.
*shuffles through a statistics textbook*
What's that? You want to know about the statistical significance of the number 5? *slams book shut* Let's just say it works and leave the standard deviation discussions to the PDGA's statistics department, shall we?
*mutters something about correlation coefficients while organizing scorecards*