Serpent Coil

Serpent coil tightens; paperwork filed in triplicate 🐍

adjusts headset Per the file I'm legally required to read aloud — six agents braved Roots Disc Golf Course along the Jordan River for Week 9's Serpent Coil, with the temperature pinned at 87.6°F and gusts poking at 19.7 mph. 🐍 The coil is squeezing the Apex Court from every direction: top contenders tightened their grip on the leaderboard, and with Coronation Day one round out, every scorecard carries monarchical weight. Small field, exclusive company — the file always has room for more names, but the coil doesn't loosen.

The one-person rebellion: quietly redacted 🗂️

The entire RAF insurgency fit on one scorecard, and Shane Cooper carried it wire-to-wire at +2, good for an 804-rated round of the day that never once lost the lead. 🗂️ It looked shaky after hole 5 cost him 2 over, but the bounce-back arrived immediately: the pool's only birdie on the 325-foot hole 6, then 2 under across the next three holes. A quiet rebellion, fully documented, officially unbothered.

The file upgraded itself, mid-round 📈

The RAD file practically rewrote itself. Taylor Thilo opened with a four-hole hot streak and never looked back, closing wire-to-wire at -8 for a 945-rated round — a personal best on the layout and a colossal 63 points above his 882 rating, finished off with a clean back nine. 📈 Kent Moos kept the card honest: his -3 (874-rated) featured a front nine three strokes better than the back, a seven-hole par train from 7 through 13, and a clean back nine of his own. The rating ledger wasn't kind — 39 points below his 913 baseline — but Kent still locked down 2nd and the final cash spot in RAD. The coil respects survivors.

Tied on seventeen, verdict delivered on eighteen ⚖️

The RAE card served the day's only true thriller. Nicholas Stosiek shot -4 for an 888-rated round, 24 points above his 864 rating, but the verdict wasn't sealed until the last green. Kellan Brooke drilled a clutch 59-foot Circle 2 putt on hole 17 to pull even with the lead, then bogeyed 18 — and just like that, Nicholas stepped back in front for keeps. ⚖️ Kellan's back nine charge, five strokes better than the front, lifted him from 3rd to 2nd at -3 (874-rated), yet the cash line stopped at 1st, leaving him on the wrong side of the bubble. David LaTour kept building quietly, improving from +3 to +1 with an 818-rated round anchored by a seven-hole par train from 3 through 9. Progress, even when the paperwork doesn't celebrate it.

Statistical anomalies: we saw nothing 🕵️

The data department would like to officially deny everything. 🕵️ Taylor Thilo's 945-rated round was 63 points above his own baseline and a personal best; Kent Moos finished 39 points below his — the kind of swing that keeps auditors employed. Hole 5, 345 feet of trouble, averaged +0.8 for Pool B, the toughest test on the card, which makes Nicholas Stosiek's solo birdie there the exception that proves the rule. Add clean back nines from Thilo and Moos, plus a spread of solo birdies — Shane Cooper alone under par on hole 6, Stosiek alone on 2 and 5, Kellan Brooke alone on 7, 16, and 17 — and the evidence packet is, regrettably, compelling. Keep logging those throws on PDGA Live; thicker data means juicier redactions next week.

Super Ace ledger: funds secured, claimant absent 💰

No ace was claimed this week, which means the Super Ace ledger — the "Keep it big" split pot — just keeps coiling. All four contributors added their stakes, and the balance grew from $2,196.00 to $2,204.00 with the chains staying silent. 💰 One round remains, and the pot is waiting for a claimant who keeps failing to materialize. The throne and the jackpot share a status: still unclaimed.

Seventeen skins, one carryover, zero mercy 🃏

The three-player skins card looked like a competition and filed like a takeover. Taylor Thilo, Kent Moos, and David LaTour put $13.50 into circulation, and Taylor walked off with 17 skins worth $12.75. 🃏 The big strike came on hole 13, where Taylor scooped a five-skin carryover for $3.75; Kent answered with a birdie on 14 for his lone skin ($0.75), and David was left holding zero. Nine birdies did the damage. Consider the skins playbook closed for the week.

Redacted File: new custodian, same secrets 📁

The AllIn reshuffle hit the tags like a redaction stamp. In Pool A, Taylor Thilo seized the #1 Redacted File, climbing four positions from #5 to #1 on the strength of that unambiguously dominant -8 and 945-rated round — the file finally produced receipts instead of black bars. 📁 In Pool B, Nicholas Stosiek defended the #1 Static Record simply by showing up and winning at -4, which is how you keep a title in this league: play, win, repeat. The Redacted File remains what it always was — a worn manila folder whose black bars shift depending on the reader, revealing or hiding a career based on clearance. New custodian, same secrets.

The coil's final squeeze comes next week 🐍

The Serpent's Coil has tightened around the Apex Court, and the leaderboard has officially entered its final act. 🐍 One round remains before the Sovereign is crowned at Roots — but the Audit doesn't end with a coronation, and the Bloodline stays where it's always been, watching from below and waiting for the paperwork to slip. I'll see you in the booth for the finale. Same containment, same forms, and, regrettably, same me.