Tape Found Here

Week Four: Signal Degradation Detected 📉

The perimeter lights are blinking out at Roots Disc Golf Course, and I’m pretty sure the chill in the air isn't just the 39.9°F breeze—it’s the simulation freezing up. Week 4 of The Flare Witch Project brought us "Tape Found Here," a mid-season plot point where five survivors navigated the Jordan River fog in surprisingly calm winds. With the glow lines flickering and the temperature hovering near a crisp 47°F, the stakes shifted from simple survival to preserving one's signal in the archive. The field was small, intimate, and dripping with the kind of tension that usually precedes a jump scare. 🌫️

Ian's Regression from Glory 📉

Ian Dahlen Flor stood alone in the RAE division, but the simulation has a way of humbling its heroes. After last week's cinematic -5 (962 rated) masterpiece at Roots, the universe—or perhaps the algorithm—demanded a correction. Ian posted a +1 this week for an 875 rated round, a sharp statistical comedown that feels less like a slump and more like the director yelling "Cut!" It’s still a wire-to-wire victory, technically speaking, but the tape definitely lost some luster in the transfer. Even a solo performance can't hide the jagged edges when the editing room gets involved. 🎬

Par Train Saves Skyler's Membership 📼

In the RAD division, Skyler Kunz successfully negotiated a membership extension at the Blockbuster counter. After last week's +9 disaster threatened to revoke his rental privileges, Skyler bounced back with a wire-to-wire even par performance (888 rated). He strung together a pristine 9-hole par train from holes 6 through 14, looking every bit the protagonist who found the script in the nick of time. Meanwhile, Anthony Kai fought the glitches but settled for a +4 (838 rated) finish, lingering dangerously close to the cash bubble as the credits rolled. 🚂

Void Reaver Feeds on Personal Bests 👻

The RPA division didn't just play disc golf; they committed violence against the course history. Malachi Vazquez and Brian Hansen engaged in a back-nine duel that felt less like competition and more like two entities fighting over the same pixel of existence. Malachi took the crown with a -6 (964 rated), while Brian settled for second at -5 (951 rated)—both personal bests that suggest the simulation is losing control of the physics engine. Multiple lead changes, a clean front nine from Malachi, and a relentless barrage of birdies turned the round into a highlight reel the system might just delete to save face. 🩸

Records Fall as the Simulation Glitches 📺

Tuesday night at Roots was a statistical anomaly that the PDGA ratings calculator is going to need a few days to process. We saw two personal bests in the RPA division alone, alongside Skyler's massive 97-point rating turnaround from Week 3. While Ian’s regression provided the necessary dramatic contrast, the RPA collective destruction of the par 54 layout proved that when the simulation stutters, the players capitalize. Wire-to-wire performances dominated the board, suggesting that despite the horror theme, the actual skill level here is reaching terrifying new heights. 📊

Malachi's Five-Position Glitch 📼

The hunger in the code has been satisfied. Malachi Vazquez didn't just win the round; he hijacked the narrative, piloting Void Reaver from Tag #6 all the way to Tag #1 in a single, jagged ascent.

That five-position jump broke him into the Elite tier, embodying the tag's lore as a recursive erasure entity that doesn't just defeat challengers—it unwrites their position on the leaderboard. Both #1 holders, Malachi in The Claimants and Ian Dahlen Flor holding Static Psalm in The Archivists, managed to preserve their status through the fog, but the Void Reaver's sudden coronation is the kind of plot twist that usually gets a character written off the show. 🏆

Trail Cam Seven Goes Live 📹

We are past the halfway point now—4 of 9 weeks in the books—and the glitches aren't subsiding; they're multiplying. Week 5 brings us "Fog Hole Seven," where rumor has it Trail Cam 7 captured footage of a disc hovering mid-air before vanishing entirely. The simulation doesn't negotiate, but I'll complain about its narrative choices on your behalf: if the course map starts updating in real-time next week, I’m officially requesting a transfer to a VCR repair shop. Until then, keep your heads on a swivel and your memberships current. The footage is about to get weird. 🎥