Crimson Glide @ Art Dye
Registration is Open!
Event Details
About This League
Crimson Glide: A slapstick Crimson Tide parody at Art Dye. Sundays, flex starts 4:40p, shotgun 6p. The arena is EMPTY—join the culling! Ace pot min $50 guaranteed by ElevateUT. ⚓️🎬
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Week 7: 'Code Rain.' The simulation's green code is cascading over an empty arena. Last week's 'Crimson Drift' recorded zero data points—a perfect storm of absence. The culling machine is idling.
Depth Charge Drama
*static flickers across the feed* Welcome to Crimson Glide, a slapstick parody of 'Crimson Tide' (1995) simulated within The Chaintrix's 90s-movie marathon. Your VHS-trapped host, Flippy, here to narrate the tactical absurdity. The official, mandatory plot summary, which I did not write:
So, two disc golf philosophies clash at Art Dye. Not a nuclear submarine. The arena is fractured into two factions: The Grid (algorithmic discipline) and The Surge (anarchic chaos). Your division determines your crew. Choose your vector.
Broadcast Interruption: Signal Lost
*rewind sound* Let's see that attendance drop again in slo-mo. The simulation loves dramatic replays. Last week, 'Crimson Drift,' had ZERO challengers report. The arena's emotional variance sensors detected nothing but wind. The culling algorithm is fully operational but has no targets.
Mission Parameters
Nine events to prove your composure under the simulated storm. Absence is logged as a forfeit. Your challenger claims victory unopposed. The current always wins.
Faction Briefing
- THE GRID: 'A regimented collective enforcing algorithmic discipline.' Divisions: FPO, RPA, RAH, RAD. Identity is angular precision. Emotional variance is filtered out. They treat every throw as a calculated vector.
- THE SURGE: 'An anarchic front thriving in storm-lashed chaos.' Divisions: FA2, RAE, RAF, RAG. They weaponize unpredictability. A missed putt isn't an error—it's a tactical deviation in a system that demands failure.
Choose your side: cold math or glorious chaos. Your bag tag will reflect a Cubist, high-pressure identity like 'Wind Steady' or 'Storm Calm.' No generic prefixes allowed.
Financial Vectors
The current Ace Pot is $247.44. Important: ElevateUT Disc Golf (the league platform) guarantees a minimum $50 ace pot. This means the displayed pot can look 'stuck' at $50 until total player contributions exceed that amount. Any guarantee top-up is credited to the winner's ElevateUT Bonus Account (for registration use only).
This guarantee is from the platform, not the local retail sponsor. Speaking of which, thanks to Another Round Salt Lake City for being our local retail partner and keeping plastic in circulation.
Chaintrix Series Standings
This simulation feeds into The Chaintrix series—a 90s movie survival marathon. Current series leaders are grinding hard:
- RPA: Brian Hansen commands with 595 points from 41 events. That's not a rating; that's a tour of duty.
- RAH: Zack Markarian (136 pts) leads Dillon Mueller (134 pts) by a mere 2 points—a rivalry tighter than a submarine hatch.
- FPO: Katie Tews holds position #1 with 16 points.
Every week here is a leverage event for your series standing. The simulation is watching.
Supported By
This theatrical experiment in competitive absurdity is facilitated by ElevateUT Disc Golf, a 501(c)(3) non-profit genuinely dedicated to growing the sport through better venues and events. Their mission is noble. This league is... a unique expression of that mission. We appreciate their support in making leagues like this possible.
*Gills flare with static* The simulation doesn't negotiate, but I'll complain about its narrative choices on your behalf. Report to Art Dye.
Art Dye
Slingers @ Art Dye
ElevateUT: Crimson Glide @ Art Dye (Flex Start)
Course Rules
Art Dye Disc Golf Park - Slingers @ Art Dye
General Notes
All fence lines play as OB. Do not hop fences into backyards!
Layout Details
| Hole | Tee | Par | Feet | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 3 | 212 | ||
| 2 | 3 | 364 | Fence and beyond on right side OB. | |
| 3 | 3 | 283 | ||
| 4 | 3 | 201 | ||
| 5 | 3 | 395 | Fence and beyond on left side OB. | |
| 6 | Long | 4 | 573 | 2 Mando trees in play on the right. Must pass to the left of each tree. |
| 7 | 3 | 343 | Mando Left of tree in fairway. | |
| 8 | 3 | 316 | Road and right play as hazard | |
| 9 | 3 | 227 | Double Mando in play | |
| 10 | 3 | 312 | ||
| 11 | 3 | 277 | ||
| 12 | 3 | 210 | ||
| 13 | Long | 3 | 326 | Fence and beyond on right side OB. |
| 14 | 3 | 299 | Fence and beyond on right side OB. | |
| 15 | 3 | 200 | ||
| 16 | 3 | 259 | Walking path and beyond OB | |
| 17 | 3 | 204 | Walking path and beyond OB | |
| 18 | 3 | 315 | Walking path and beyond OB |
See how this league handles pro and amateur payouts.
Schedule
Week 1: Grid Lock
Course: Art Dye
Week 2: Surge Tide
Course: Art Dye
Week 3: Current Shift
Course: Art Dye
Week 4: Coach Fade
Course: Art Dye
Week 5: VHS Glitch
Course: Art Dye
Week 6: Crimson Drift
Course: Art Dye
Week 7: Code Rain
Course: Art Dye
Week 8: Facet Break
Course: Art Dye
Week 9: Final Frame
Course: Art Dye
League
Organization & Directors
Need help? Message the league directors with event questions.
Course Fund
Course Improvement Fund
A portion of your registration fee goes towards the course improvement fund or yearly project.
