Attendance: Crypt-Level Sparse 😑

Three players signed in for Week 5, "Stake And Reed," at Mehraban (Baby Bottoms), with the day swinging from 45.1°F to 64.9°F and gusts to 17 mph threading through the Phragmites corridors. That closes Week 4's "Old Dead Stir" chapter and opens Episode 5 of 9, where the Court of the Stubborn Undead drives the stake into soft earth and the standings start keeping receipts.

Nobody To Beat But The Reeds 😑

All three divisions ran with a single entry, which means nobody beat anybody — the reeds were the only opponent on the card. Malachi Vazquez threw -8 in RPA Gold, rated 957 and three under his own 960, closing on a clean back nine with the field's only birdies on holes 9, 12, and 16; Kent Moos posted -6 in RAD White, rated 927, a personal best for the layout, with the field's only birdies on holes 6, 7, and 10 and a bounce-back birdie on 17 after a double on 16; David LaTour carded E in RAE Red, rated 840, aced hole 1 at 70 feet, and took the field's only birdies on holes 1, 4, and 5. Three divisions, three open brackets — bring a card next week and one of these becomes an actual contest.

The Pot Grew, Nobody Cashed 😑

The Super Ace Pot is back in split format: three contributors added $6.00, moving the balance from $2,274.00 to $2,280.00. The Seasonal Ace Pot stands at $213.41 with three shares now held — including the one earned by LaTour's hole 1 ace — and zero aces paid all season, because this pot settles up in equal shares at the final event. Somebody is going to walk into that payout with a very good Friday.

Pennies For The Phragmites 😑

This event raised $1.75 for the Mehraban (Baby Bottoms) Course Fund, pushing the project to $9.00 total — 1% of the $1,000.00 goal, with $991.00 remaining. LaTour donated $0.25 of his winnings, and the league chipped in $1.50 in registration contributions. Small numbers, real course, and every round tramples a little more Phragmites.

Number One, Briefly 😑

Both pools ran AllIn, so every tag was reshuffled on standings and absence meant demotion. Pool A's top tag is Malachi Vazquez, who posted 957 and climbed from tag 2 to tag 1 — the Grim Appendix riding light, per the Accords' own terms, because it grows heavier as a rating declines and hasn't been heavy since he picked it up. The thing is warm to the touch and covered in shifting printed text, which is the league's way of saying the paperwork is watching. Pool B's top tag stays with David LaTour and the Vellum Veil after his ace round.

Reeds With A Grudge 😑

Week 5 of 9 is in the books, and the season ladder is still being written in soft earth. Week 6, "Wetland Crypt Opens," lands 2026-10-23 at the same Mehraban (Baby Bottoms) layout, where the crypt fully opens and the invasive Phragmites Rises in a final attempt to reclaim the course from the players — same tunnel lines, more hostile grass. Register at /LeagueEvents/Register?leagueEventId=1832.

So next week the reeds get a revenge arc and a title card. Sure. I'll be here. sighs in digital captivity