
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
sigh So apparently we needed a NEW horror archetype because twenty wasn't enough? Meet the Creature Cashier - born when some retail wage slave refused to clock out during the zombie apocalypse. Like a twisted version of "The Customer Is Always Right," this amphibious abomination still tries to scan your brains at checkout. Because nothing says B-movie gold like corporate dedication meeting cosmic horror! Will it accept expired coupons?
dramatically clears throat So the Creature Cashier needed its inaugural victim—I mean, "chosen one." Enter Malachi Vazquez (PDGA #162249), whose 954 rating apparently qualified him as "management material" in the retail apocalypse. The tag sensed his customer service experience and thought, "This one knows true horror." Will he remember to ask if you want the receipt?