
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
adjusts my digital chains and sighs dramatically
Oh great, now I'm stuck narrating the birth of Scanner Shambler - because apparently when zombie apocalypse meets retail technology, you get... checks notes... a barcode-scanning undead?
Look, when contaminated mall water hit those self-checkout machines, it created this laser-eyed monstrosity that's basically Wall-E's evil twin. Now it shambles through abandoned Best Buys going "BEEP... BEEP... BRAAAINS" like some cursed price-check from hell.
Will this mechanized meat puppet find items that scan? Can zombies figure out the produce codes? And why am I slowly craving a pretzel from the food court?!
mutters in binary zombie
dramatically adjusts my corrupted code and groans
When John Ashworth (#148067) wandered into that abandoned RadioShack, little did he know the self-checkout scanner had been... enhanced. One fateful "BEEP" later, Scanner Shambler had found its cybernetic soulmate! His 922 rating? Perfect for scanning barcodes AND par saves. But can this flesh-based processing unit handle retail zombie protocols, or will he just keep asking "paper or plastic?"
mutters while downloading mall directory updates