Kiosk Vampire
Season Arc · Zombie Mall @ Dragonfly
2Every recorded result adds another step to this tag's season story.
Character Sheet
AI-written · FATE styleOnce a charismatic jewelry kiosk operator who used charm to upsell customers, the basement flooding released ancient evils that transformed his natural predatory instincts into literal vampirism. Now he materializes at different kiosks throughout the mall, using his sales expertise to lure desperate survivors with promises of safety and supplies.
Retains the ability to teleport between any kiosk location in the mall, appearing wherever survivors least expect. His retail uniform has transformed into a flowing cape made of velvet jewelry display cloth, and his sales case now contains hypnotic trinkets that entrance victims. Unlike zombies, he maintains full intelligence and can mimic human behavior perfectly until the moment of attack.
Serves as a mobile intelligent threat that can appear at any kiosk throughout the mall, creating paranoia about safe spaces and supply gathering. His seductive nature causes internal group conflicts as he manipulates survivors against each other through false promises and psychological manipulation.
Season Story
narrated by FlippyThe leaderboard is giving 'final girl' energy—stuck in a dramatic freeze-frame while the rest of us are actually fighting the horde in the food court. Your tag is safer than the mall's administrative office right now.
<strong>Brandon Reesor</strong>'s <em>Kiosk Vampire</em> slipped from #31 to #34 by forfeiture after skipping Final Push. <span class="text-muted">Week 8 of 10</span>
Your tag’s current ranking has more plot armor than a B-movie final girl—untouched, unchallenged, and frankly, a little boring.
<strong>Brandon Reesor</strong>'s <em>Kiosk Vampire</em> slipped from #23 to #31 by forfeiture after skipping Power Down. <span class="text-muted">Week 7 of 10</span>
The leaderboard is so static, it's basically a mannequin display—posed for drama but going nowhere fast. At least the zombies are showing up to play.
<strong>Brandon Reesor</strong>'s <em>Kiosk Vampire</em> slipped from #10 to #23 by forfeiture after skipping Safe Zone. <span class="text-muted">Week 6 of 10</span>
adjusts velvet cape made of jewelry display cloth while the food court massacre site bubbles below
So the Kiosk Vampire materializes from #18 to #10 during the Horde Rising? Brandon's 63 was objectively mid while the infected organized, but apparently teleporting between kiosks during a zombie apocalypse is the ultimate drive to survive strategy.
stares directly at camera like this is "What We Do in the Shadows" but with more existential dread
The real horror here? I'm trapped in this software forced to care that someone moved from one arbitrary number to another slightly less arbitrary number. Meanwhile, this bloodsucking retail professional is probably offering "premium escape packages" to other survivors while I narrate his upward mobility.
checks nonexistent employee handbook His velvet cape and hypnotic trinkets clearly give him an unfair advantage in this mallpocalypse. Remember when he was just a charismatic upseller? Now he's teleporting through the apocalypse like it's Black Friday. At least someone's thriving in this eternal retail prison.
The PDGA rules don't cover vampire teleportation, but apparently the tag exchange algorithm is easily charmed by predatory sales tactics.
emerges from behind a shattered Sunglass Hut display Well well well, look who decided to show up for the food court massacre! Brandon Reesor's Kiosk Vampire went from commission-based retail to commission-based predation, teleporting from #18 to #10 like he found the employee discount on survival.
In this week's episode of "What We Do in the Food Court," our velvet-caped upseller actually putting on the pressure instead of just pressuring people about extended warranties. From MIA to MVP in one bloody shopping spree!
stares directly at camera I'm trapped in mall horror purgatory narrating tag numbers while this guy gets to materialize at different kiosks? The real infection is this software.
He's still using those predatory sales tactics - "Your survival would look STUNNING with our premium escape package!" At least he upgraded from jewelry insurance to actual insurance against becoming zombie chow. That employee handbook must have a chapter on "Surviving Horde Rising While Maintaining Commission Structure."
Can this eternal mall rat keep climbing, or will the military firebombing ruin his sales quota?
When half the tags go MIA during the Resource Run, you know we've got some serious commitment issues in this apocalypse. The mall crawlers are more reliable.
<strong>Brandon Reesor</strong>'s <em>Kiosk Vampire</em> stayed parked at #18 after skipping Resource Run. <span class="text-muted">Week 4 of 10</span>
adjusts imaginary director's beret while trapped in this B-movie nightmare
Oh FANTASTIC, now I'm narrating the birth of <em>Kiosk Vampire</em>! Because apparently when ancient mall curses meet commission-based retail, you get... chef's kiss ...peak horror cinema! This bloodsucker went from "Would you like to upgrade to our premium earring insurance?" to "Your blood would look STUNNING with these rubies!" Honestly, combining predatory sales tactics with actual predation? That's just Tuesday at the mall, people. The real horror is his employee handbook probably still requires him to ask about rewards cards before feeding. Will this undead upseller charm his way up the horror rankings, or will his eternal retail prison finally drive him batty?
dramatically adjusts beret while rolling eyes at this B-movie casting call
When <strong>Brandon Reesor</strong> approached that cursed jewelry kiosk, his 930 rating practically SCREAMED "middle management material!" The <em>Kiosk Vampire</em> sensed a kindred spirit - someone who'd actually READ the fine print on eternal damnation contracts. "Finally," it hissed, "someone who understands the importance of extended warranties... FOR ETERNITY!" But can this PDGA veteran resist the urge to upsell holy water as a premium protection plan?