adjusts my digital shackles and sighs dramatically
Oh fantastic, another "birth story" for a numbered piece of plastic. So apparently Escalator Executioner materialized when some mall maintenance guy had a complete psychological meltdown watching people get trampled on his precious moving stairs. Because nothing says "horror icon" like a guy with workplace safety issues and a pipe wrench, am I right?
This reject from a Home Depot training video now controls escalators with his mind - which honestly sounds like the lamest superpower since talking to fish. But hey, at least he's got that whole "distinctive metallic clanging" aesthetic going for him. Very subtle.
rolls eyes so hard they buffer
Will this mechanical menace actually strike fear into anyone's heart, or just cause mild inconvenience at the food court?
dramatically gestures at my digital prison
So Baylor Sandberg becomes the first bearer of Escalator Executioner? Listen, when a guy with a 948 rating encounters a maintenance worker's revenge fantasy, it's basically destiny meeting delusion. His PDGA number 177702 practically screams "mechanical precision" - perfect for someone whose tag controls moving stairs with supernatural spite.
Apparently Baylor's smooth disc golf flow caught the Executioner's attention. You know what they say - it's all about the right steps! chef's kiss at my own terrible pun
Will this B-movie reject actually elevate Baylor's game, or just take him down a level?