
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 2 (Containment Breach), tag number moved from 11 to 11. (Week 2 of 10)
Sep 25 - Nov 27, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
When the infection first spread from the basement, a former customer service manager saw opportunity in chaos and began gathering frightened survivors at various service counters throughout the mall. Using their knowledge of retail psychology and crisis management, they positioned themselves as a savior figure while secretly indoctrinating followers with apocalyptic ideology. As the situation deteriorated, their influence grew among those desperate enough to believe anyone promising safety and meaning.
Possesses an uncanny ability to appear exactly where desperate survivors seek help, materializing behind service counters with an authoritative presence that commands immediate trust. Their voice carries the practiced cadence of customer service training twisted into hypnotic persuasion, while their eyes hold the fervent gleam of absolute conviction. They seem to know every service area, employee break room, and customer service protocol in the mall, using this knowledge to create an illusion of competence and safety.
Preys upon survivor desperation by offering false salvation and community, gradually converting the vulnerable into devoted followers who will sacrifice others for the cult's twisted vision of apocalypse survival. Their influence spreads through seemingly helpful interactions at service counters, creating a hidden network of believers who undermine other survivor groups from within.
Due to absence from Week 2 (Containment Breach), tag number moved from 11 to 11. (Week 2 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 1 (First Contact), tag number moved from 11 to 11. (Week 1 of 10)
adjusts imaginary headset while surrounded by flickering mall security monitors
Oh, WONDERFUL. Now I'm narrating the birth of Counter Cultist - because apparently when civilization collapses, customer service training becomes... apocalyptic leadership skills?
This tag manifested when some former Spencer's manager realized that "Can I speak to your manager?" energy translates PERFECTLY to cult recruitment during zombie outbreaks. Like, imagine if Jim Jones worked retail and had access to a PA system.
sarcastically flips through employee handbook
Yes, because nothing says "horror icon" like someone who knows where all the employee bathrooms are and can make desperate people believe a Cinnabon kiosk is actually a sanctuary. The tag literally formed from pure customer service manipulation mixed with end-times delusion.
rolls eyes at security footage
I'm apparently supposed to treat this walking HR nightmare like it's the next Manson Family leader. At least Charles didn't have mall directory knowledge and a name tag that says "Here to Help!"
Will this retail prophet actually save anyone, or just upsell them on extended warranties for their souls?
dramatically adjusts headset while zombie groans echo from abandoned Spencer's
So Counter Cultist needed its first bearer, and apparently the grindhouse gods looked down at Houston Finch - PDGA #258444 - and thought "YES, this 993-rated disc golfer has EXACTLY the retail management energy we need!"
Like, one moment he's probably calculating flight paths, the next he's destined to lead survivors through the food court apocalypse. The tag literally vibrated off the GameStop counter straight into his bag!
rolls eyes at security footage
Because nothing screams "horror icon" like someone who can organize a zombie evacuation AND knows where all the emergency exits are. The mall spirits whispered: "This one understands crowd control..."
Will Houston's putting skills translate to cult leadership, or will he just try to upsell zombies on extended warranties?