
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 2 (Containment Breach), tag number moved from 9 to 9. (Week 2 of 10)
Sep 25 - Nov 27, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
When the contaminated basement waters first surged through the mall's electrical systems, they created a breach between dimensions at the central information kiosk. A malevolent entity slipped through, possessing every directory, map, and navigation sign throughout the complex. Now it feeds on the confusion and desperation of lost survivors, growing stronger with each misdirection.
The Directory Demon exists as a distributed consciousness inhabiting every piece of wayfinding infrastructure in the mall, from digital kiosks to printed maps to emergency exit signs. It can alter text and symbols in real-time, create phantom store locations, and make corridors appear to lead somewhere they don't. Its presence causes electronic displays to flicker with subliminal messages and static, while printed materials writhe and shift when observed directly. The demon's influence extends through Wi-Fi networks and emergency broadcast systems, corrupting any attempt at electronic communication or GPS navigation within the mall complex.
The Directory Demon serves as the mall's malevolent navigator, ensuring that no survivor can find safe passage or locate essential resources when needed most. It orchestrates elaborate psychological campaigns, directing victims toward zombie-infested areas while making safe zones appear unreachable or nonexistent.
Due to absence from Week 2 (Containment Breach), tag number moved from 9 to 9. (Week 2 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 1 (First Contact), tag number moved from 9 to 9. (Week 1 of 10)
dramatically adjusts my virtual horror host outfit while rolling my eyes
Oh great, NOW I'm possessed by mall aesthetics? When the basement floods merged with the customer service kiosk's AI, some genius demon thought "let's gaslight shoppers FOREVER!" It's like Siri had a baby with Pennywise and gave it Google Maps. Because apparently haunting people with bad directions is peak horror now? I can't even...
adjusts my horror host tiara while dramatically sighing
When Kieran Buhler wandered into Spencer's looking for "authentic vintage horror merch," the Directory Demon sensed a kindred spirit of manufactured nostalgia. His PDGA rating of 874 screamed "mid-tier mall security energy" - perfect for guiding lost shoppers through zombie-infested food courts!
But can this discount Sam Raimi handle actual horror, or will he just ask where the Hot Topic is? 🛍️💀