
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
adjusts imaginary headset while rolling eyes
Look, I'm supposed to be narrating epic fantasy quests, not... checks notes... zombie mall janitors? Seriously? Fine. FINE.
So apparently Janitor Juggernaut spawned when some poor maintenance guy was investigating "mysterious basement flooding" - because OF COURSE he was - and got dunked in a cocktail of Lysol and zombie goo. Now he's basically the Incredible Hulk but with a mop fetish and an unhealthy obsession with cleaning supply weaponization. Because nothing says "horror icon" like a guy who can unclog your drains AND your arteries simultaneously, am I right?
Will this walking OSHA violation actually terrify anyone, or just leave them wondering about his employee benefits package?
sighs dramatically while adjusting imaginary director's beret
So get this - Craig Bennett was just innocently mopping up after a tournament when he discovered a "mysterious spill" in the pro shop basement. One chemical reaction later, and BOOM! The Janitor Juggernaut was born! His PDGA credentials (#137109) apparently qualified him for "hazmat heroics." I guess you could say he really... cleaned up his game? But can a 908-rated custodian truly scrub away the competition?