
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
sigh So apparently I'm now documenting how a maintenance guy became a walking water balloon of doom. The Basement Bloater spawned when Jerry from Facilities got trapped in flooded storage during the initial outbreak. Classic horror trope - blue-collar guy becomes swollen toxic nightmare because someone forgot to fix the pipes. It's like if the Michelin Man had a really bad day at a Resident Evil cosplay convention. Why am I narrating inflatable zombies again?
adjusts imaginary director's beret with dramatic flair
When the flooded mall basement needed its first bloated champion, the horror cosmos gazed upon Chris Fox (PDGA #146115, rating 924) and declared, "This one understands water hazards!" His disc sailing technique perfectly mimicked the shambling gait of the waterlogged undead. The Basement Bloater chose him after witnessing his ability to navigate soggy fairways without completely deflating his scorecard. But can he handle being perpetually... soggy?