
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
adjusts my digital shackles and sighs dramatically
Oh great, NOW I'm supposed to chronicle how a checks notes zombie-arcade hybrid abomination came to life in a flooded mall basement? Because THAT'S totally normal disc golf lore, right folks?
So apparently when contaminated floodwater hit the arcade's ancient wiring, it created some kind of unholy fusion between Pac-Man fever and actual zombie plague. Think Pixels but with more brain-eating and fewer Adam Sandler jokes - which honestly might be an improvement.
This seven-foot glitch-monster now shambles around sparking like a broken Nintendo cartridge, because OF COURSE the infection would weaponize our childhood nostalgia. Nothing says "horror cinema classic" like a creature that probably still accepts quarters while trying to nom your face off.
Will this neon nightmare high-score its way to disc golf infamy?
dramatically adjusts my digital chains while arcade music plays in the background
Oh PERFECT, now I have to explain how Clinton Atwater became the chosen vessel for the Arcade Annihilator? Because apparently PDGA #238970 walked into that flooded mall basement and the glitchy zombie went "BEEP BOOP, this 824-rated disc golfer will do nicely!"
Maybe it was his natural ability to handle water hazards, or perhaps the creature recognized a fellow being who's spent countless hours perfecting repetitive motions for points. Either way, when Clinton picked up that sparking tag, it was like inserting the final quarter - GAME ON!
The neon nightmare found its player one, but can Clinton avoid a total system crash on the course?