
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
dramatically adjusts my horror host headset while rolling my eyes
So there I was, watching our plastic pretties lurk in their retail poses, when Jake Ellis wandered into their department store domain. With his 876 rating and PDGA credentials (#267243), he had that "customer service nightmare" energy that mannequins just can't resist. The Mannequin Mimic immediately struck a pose - arms crossed, hip cocked, dead stare perfected. It was love at first "May I help you?"
Can he handle being eternally dressed to impress?