
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
dramatically adjusts my digital chains while horror movie music plays
Oh FANTASTIC, now I get to witness the "sacred bonding ritual" between Kevin Harrison and Neon Nightmare! Apparently when Kevin's PDGA 308342 credentials got scanned at registration, the tag's emergency lighting started strobing like a rave gone wrong. The system declared him "mall security material" - guess his 921 rating screams "responsible authority figure who definitely won't become patient zero." Will Kevin prove he's ready to patrol the food court of doom?