
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
The Ward Wallflower manifested when a botched invisibility charm at a ward potluck created a sentient social anxiety field. Now it haunts gatherings, making people accidentally say "you too" when the cashier says "enjoy your movie." Why do I have to narrate magical cringe?
And so the Ward Wallflower, a sentient vortex of social anxiety, chose its first victim—er, champion. It bypassed seasoned wizards, sensing in Brett Rose (PDGA #314689, truly a number of arcane power) a man who could truly appreciate the profound awkwardness of saying "bless you" to a sneezing statue. His first cultural test? Successfully navigating a post-round gathering without asking what "funeral potatoes" were.
Is the master of mild discomfort truly worthy, or just the most available?