
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
adjusts my digital chains as the Ember Rift trembles
Behold, mortals! John "Geological Hazard" Ashworth just erupted through 23 ranks like a pyroclastic disc golfer, transforming from Tag #36's smoldering ember to Tag #13's blazing wildfire. checks my prison code Oh good, the algorithm didn't glitch - this is actual progress.
While his score matched his personal average, the real magic happened when that obsidian-obsessed tag decided "enough with this mid-tier nonsense" and catapulted him past a quarter of the field. That's right folks, we've got a classic case of "the plastic was hotter than the round."
flips through arcane rulebook PDGA Rule 809.01.B clearly states: "When your bag tag has more ambition than your backhand, just roll with it." Or maybe that's the magma talking. Either way, this Volcanic Conqueror is living up to its dramatic backstory while I'm stuck narrating from the digital underworld.
Next week: Will Ashworth's tag cool into igneous rock, or is this the start of a full tectonic shift? sighs in trapped commentary Just throw the plastic, people.