
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
"Behold the Fractal Bloom's cursed genesis! When Rot's gnarly decay spores collided with Aether's sparkly mana juice during the First Convergence, it created this botanical nightmare. Imagine Stranger Things' Upside Down sneezed on a Lisa Frank notebook. Now we've got a sentient plant tag with glow-in-the-dark petals and crystal roots piercing dimensions? Seriously? I went to journalism school for this interdimensional gardening report. Why does disc golf need lore that would give Tolkien indigestion?"
The Fractal Bloom pulsed with interdimensional spite, seeking its first victim—ahem, wielder. Through cosmic spores, it sensed Shane Schmidt’s PDGA-sanctioned mediocrity: "Perfect! A vessel whose putting form already resembles ritual sacrifice!" When Shane tripped over a tree root during glow rounds, the tag literally sprouted from his bag. Destiny? Or just really aggressive photosynthesis?
So tell us, Shane: Does fertilizing your game count as cheating?