
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
As reality shattered like a cheap phone screen, the Arcane Fracture birthed Genesis Cipher - basically the universe's Ctrl+S function. This glowy math rock emerged screaming "Yeet!" while encoding pre-apocalypse PDGA regulations into its crystalline matrix. Look, I'm contractually obligated to pretend this dodecahedron matters more than my student loans. When will this cosmic LARP end?
As the Fracture belched cosmic dice, Genesis Cipher scanned the mortal plane. It locked onto Owen Millet—PDGA #272581, 947-rated—not for heroic deeds, but because he tripped over a tree root while yelling "MULLIGAN!" near the epicenter. The tag fused to his bag, whispering ancient PDGA bylaws in his ear. Thus, destiny chose... or just embraced the nearest klutz? Can this "chosen one" decode reality without faceplanting?