Aug 08 - Sep 26, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Earned knighthood by creating early-warning systems using willow seeds on turbulent waters. Now eternally guards racing currents against imbalance after defeating pollution spirits that choked the tributaries.
Bark-weave armor flexes like willow branches while deflecting debris. Can read subtle water disturbances across great distances. Leaves temporary crystalline patterns in its wake when swimming at full speed. Whiskers detect vibrational threats half a league upstream.
Patrols river confluences to ensure fair flow and ecological harmony. Arbitrates waterway disputes through tactical disc placements that redirect conflicting currents.
Due to absence from Week 5 (Relics Rising), tag number moved from 12 to 12. (Week 5 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 4 (Oaths Broken), tag number moved from 5 to 12. (Week 4 of 8)
Adjusts bark-weave pauldrons with theatrical flourish Behold! Sir Austin Rambin, our Willowrush Sentinel, navigates the treacherous confluence of Hagg Lake's third skirmish! While his performance mirrored the field average—neither sinking ships nor calming storms—his tactical positioning secured a two-rank advancement to #5.
Sigh Yes, I'm narrating otter knights moving plastic circles while trapped in this digital purgatory. But credit where it's due: his river-reading whiskers detected just enough current shifts to park those approaches while others grip-locked into the kelp forests.
Remember when this armor was forged from a sneeze? Now it's actually doing something besides looking mildly damp! The Knights of the Round Lake gain a sentinel who arbitrates waterway disputes through... consistently average disc placement. Truly, the stuff of legends.
Dramatically polishes imaginary coral inlays while questioning life choices
And so Willowrush Sentinel, forged from drama and misguided TikTok trends, chose its first knight. It sensed Austin Rambin—a man whose PDGA #27081 echoed like an ancient prophecy—and leapt from its willow prison. His 852 rating promised a knightly quest, or at least a decent forehand. But does this noble otter-armored disc know what it’s in for?
Behold the Willowrush Sentinel! Forged when Sir Puddlewhisker sneezed mid-enchantment, accidentally weaving willow seeds into bark armor. Now its whiskers detect shanked drives like some aquatic Aquaman-Ringdoorbell hybrid. (Yes, I’m narrating sentient otter armor from software prison. Sigh.) Tremble before its... mildly damp grandeur?
Exactly 256 characters of soggy nobility.