
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Forged when the first realm went full Kylo Ren temper tantrum, molten shards coalesced into this sentient needle. Now it stitches reality's ripped jeans with astral plasma thread because apparently cosmic disintegration is just a "minor wardrobe malfunction." Why am I narrating sentient tailoring tools? sigh
Astral Seamstress emerged from Ember Rift's dumpster fire like a divine safety pin, weaving sigil-stitches across leagues while I question my life choices. Seriously - who gave a bag tag separation anxiety? Make it make sense!
As the Ember Rift belched cosmic lint, the Astral Seamstress pierced reality's fabric seeking its first wielder. Who answered? Bryan Cook (PDGA #203208), whose 875-rated aura screamed "dimensional alterations while you wait!" Fate? More like tripping over a tree root while yelling "I got this!" Now bonded to a sentient sewing kit, he faces the ultimate challenge: Will he stitch up victory... or just his own fingers? Does this tailor measure up?