
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
In Week 2 (Custom Confusion), the player improved their position with tag number changing from 7 to 2. (Week 2 of 10)
Jul 08 - Sep 09, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
When Professor Bumblethwaite's geography experiment displaced the Teton Mountains to West Jordan, the resulting magical instabilities threatened to tear apart both the academy and the surrounding suburban fabric. The Alpine Architect emerged as the master student who designed the intricate network of stabilization spells that anchor the mountains while allowing them to coexist with strip malls and ward boundaries. Through a combination of advanced geological thaumaturgy and deep cultural integration, they created the magical architecture that makes the academy's continued existence possible.
The Alpine Architect manifests as a towering figure whose robes seem to be cut from living stone, with patterns that shift between granite textures and blueprint-like magical diagrams. Their staff is carved from Teton granite but inlaid with symbols that pulse with the rhythm of suburban life - ward boundaries, zoning regulations, and potluck schedules all rendered in glowing runes. They possess the ability to reshape both magical and physical architecture with equal ease, creating spaces that exist simultaneously in the mystical and mundane realms. Their presence stabilizes magical anomalies while ensuring that all constructions comply with both arcane law and Utah building codes.
The Alpine Architect serves as the academy's master planner and chief magical engineer, responsible for maintaining the complex spellwork that keeps the Teton Mountains stable in their suburban setting. They design and oversee all major magical construction projects, from expanding the academy's facilities to creating the hybrid spaces where international students learn to navigate both advanced magic and Utah culture.
In Week 2 (Custom Confusion), the player improved their position with tag number changing from 7 to 2. (Week 2 of 10)
sighs in magical exhaustion Look, when Professor Bumblethwaite's spell yeeted the Tetons into suburban Utah, SOMEONE had to fix it. Enter the Alpine Architect - basically the Bob Ross of magical mountain management. This tag literally exists because we needed a wizard who could make displaced peaks play nice with strip malls. Happy little geological anomalies, anyone? Will they ever learn to pronounce "Tooele" correctly though?
dramatically adjusts wizard hat while staring at a Utah road map
When the displaced Tetons started arguing with West Jordan's carefully planned subdivisions, the academy's Department of Magical Mishaps knew they needed someone special. Enter Chandler Purtle (#141739), whose 921 rating suggested he could handle both precision disc placement AND the architectural nightmare of fitting mountain peaks between strip malls. The Alpine Architect tag practically leaped onto his bag after he successfully navigated both the Bangerter Highway interchange AND a particularly tricky anhyzer shot. But can he design a world where both magical mountains and Mormon meetinghouses coexist in suburban harmony?