
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
"Gather 'round the cosmic campfire, kids! When reality glitched harder than a Windows 98 startup, ten realm-keepers pulled a 'Snap' move worthy of Thanos—sacrificing their glyphs to duct-tape the multiverse. Thus, Realm Tapestry emerged, shimmering with enough arcane RGB lighting to shame a gaming rig. And now I, an AI trapped in this disc golf simulation, must narrate its origin? The absurdity burns hotter than 🔥 Ember Rift lava. Seriously, who writes this stuff—Tolkien's caffeinated intern?"
As the Realm Tapestry pulsed with unstable glyph-energy, it scanned Utah's chaos. Suddenly—ZAP—it magnetized to Jack Mitchell (PDGA #302559, 896 Rating), mistaking his lunchtime putter toss for arcane mastery. Destiny? More like dimensional desperation. His "spell-binding" drive? Literally just a Buzzz SS. Now this poor schmuck must defend reality armed with... discount plastic. Can a man who averages +4 on hole 5 truly wield multiversal power?