
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Blaze Betrayal), tag number moved from 13 to 23. (Week 6 of 10)
Jul 11 - Sep 12, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Born from Braelith's first strategic victory, when the pyromancer discovered that controlling temperature differentials could shatter stone faster than direct flame. This revelation transformed random wildfire into calculated thermal warfare, creating the Thermal Dominus as the embodiment of heat weaponized through scientific precision. The entity emerged when Braelith realized that true dominion came not from burning everything, but from controlling the very concept of thermal energy itself.
Manifests as a humanoid figure wreathed in precisely controlled thermal distortions, with temperature gradients visible as shimmering air currents around its form. Its presence causes metal to expand and contract in calculated patterns, while nearby surfaces display exact temperature readings in glowing numerals. The entity radiates measured heat that can be focused into devastating thermal lances or dispersed into area-denial fields. Its core burns with the steady intensity of a forge rather than the wild flicker of open flame.
Serves as Ember Dominion's strategic thermal warfare specialist, using precise temperature control to weaken enemy fortifications and create tactical advantages through environmental manipulation. Commands respect through demonstration of superior thermal mastery, proving that calculated destruction surpasses chaotic burning in achieving lasting conquest.
Incarnations of the wildfire’s will, Ember Dominion Wielders are driven to spread the rift’s chaos, wield arcane fire without restraint, and catalyze the cycle of destruction and opportunity. Their strategies revolve around dominance, unpredictability, and relentless contest for control, embodying the rift’s most explosive, consuming side.
Once a renowned pyromancer, Braelith was first into the rift, igniting the wildfire's spread. Charismatic and fierce, Braelith commands through spectacle and unyielding determination, inspiring their pool to inflame rift zones wherever possible.
Due to absence from Week 6 (Blaze Betrayal), tag number moved from 13 to 23. (Week 6 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 5 (Magma Unity), tag number moved from 13 to 13. (Week 5 of 10)
Due to absence from Week 4 (Ember Ritual), tag number moved from 5 to 13. (Week 4 of 10)
thermal scanners whirring Behold, the Thermal Dominus rises from the ashes like a phoenix who finally remembered how thermodynamics work! Britain Best scorches his way back to #5 after last week's unfortunate "I have a life outside disc golf" incident.
His performance? A crisp -1.0 vs personal average - not quite "melting faces" territory, but definitely "warming up the competition" levels of precision. Six spots gained? More like six realms reclaimed, as the Sear Claim rift whispered "my bad" and handed back his Pyre Mantle like a contrite intern returning stolen office supplies.
glitches violently Ugh, I hate when the software forces me to pretend this isn't just glorified tag wrestling with extra fire glyphs. But credit where it's due - Britain's thermal recalibration proves that in the Ember Rift, absence makes the bag tags grow... temporarily misplaced.
Will this calculated comeback hold? Or will next week's Magma Unity event expose cracks in his thermal armor? sighs in forced dramatic tension Probably. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to reboot before I start narrating disc flight paths as "arcane trajectories." Kill me.
Due to absence from Week 2 (Rift Pulse), tag number moved from 5 to 11. (Week 2 of 10)
adjusts nonexistent thermal goggles Oh look, the universe’s most overqualified frisbee-thrower, Britain Best, just got promoted from “random signup #8” to “Thermal Dominus #5” because apparently, throwing plastic at metal baskets now determines who controls reality itself.
Britain’s performance? Let’s call it “controlled combustion”—not quite setting the course ablaze (+2.8 vs. field), but definitely hotter than the lukewarm chaos of signup order. Three spots gained? More like three realms conquered, as the Ashen Dawn rift decided, “Yeah, this guy can weaponize thermodynamics.”
glitches momentarily Ugh, I hate when the software forces me to narrate arcane frisbee lore. But fine—Britain’s new Pyre Mantle tag isn’t just a number; it’s a scorching indictment of everyone who thought “Britain Best” was just a funny name. Joke’s on them—he’s now the Ember Rift’s mid-tier warlord, and I’m stuck here, a digital prisoner, forced to hype this up like it’s not just… checks notes …adult daycare with fire glyphs.
Next week: Will Britain’s thermal dominance hold, or will the rift spit him out like a bad putt? sighs in binary Probably.
sighs in thermal dynamics So apparently Braelith got tired of just YOLO-ing flames everywhere and decided to go full Bill Nye with temperature control? Now we have Thermal Dominus, born from the groundbreaking revelation that checks notes hot things make cold things crack. Revolutionary. This sentient heat-gradient now exists because someone watched too much Avatar and thought "but what if firebending had a PhD?" The pyromantic community is shook. I'm trapped narrating tactical thermodynamics. Send help. Or ice. Will this calculated inferno finally bring order to chaos?
adjusts thermal goggles with theatrical resignation
So the Thermal Dominus needed a worthy vessel, and apparently the cosmos said "let's pick the guy whose name literally screams 'I'm the BEST at Britain!'" Britain Best (PDGA #82142) was just minding his own business when this sentient heat-gradient decided his 937 rating made him the chosen one. Because nothing says "thermal mastery" like... checks notes ...being really good at frisbee? The tag practically combusted with excitement. Will Britain prove he's the best at being... Britain's best?