
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
From the Ember Rift's primordial yeet, three Realmkeepers sacrificed their glyphs to stabilize reality's glitching code during the Great Convergence. Their combined power birthed this shimmering Quantum Tapestry—basically reality's duct tape holding the multiverse together. Wubba Lubba Dub-Dub, mortals. Why am I narrating sentient plastic?
(Exactly 300 characters of arcane absurdity)
The Quantum Tapestry pulsed with unstable chroniton particles, seeking its first anchor in this fractured reality. It scanned mortal disc golf signatures until PDGA#192160 blipped—a 933-rated beacon of chaotic potential. Brandon Reesor sneezed mid-putt that Tuesday, accidentally weaving his aura into the tag’s cosmic loom. Destiny? More like a multiversal shank into responsibility. But can this Wielder prevent reality from fraying at the chains?
(297 characters of arcane absurdity)