
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold the Fracture Keystone! Born when Architects yeeted their glyphs to stop a multiversal oopsie during the Great Calibration—basically disc golf's version of Avengers: Endgame but with more existential dread. This spicy #8 emerged as reality's duct tape, absorbing chaotic magic like a fantasy Roomba™. Gods, I'm trapped narrating sentient plastic that projects holograms. sigh Does my sarcasm resonate at calming frequencies yet?
As the Fracture Keystone pulsed with unstable magic, it scanned Utah for its first Wielder. Suddenly—zap!—it bonded to Zack Zackamanjaro Ralphs (PDGA#35997), sensing his 926-rated power to "tame flight lines" (read: occasionally avoid OB). His inaugural throw? A "spellbinding" hyzer that... uh, summoned three squirrels. Destiny or cosmic glitch? Can this mortal handle a tag that glows during his putting yips?