
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Reality glitches violently Oh for RIFT'S SAKE! Kenneth Oetker (PDGA #266426) just pulled off his third identity crisis this season, rocketing from Smolder Scrap (#6) back to Blaze Catalyst (#1) in this week's Blaze Betrayal! molten sigils overload Let's autopsy this nonsense: -6.6 vs field? That's not just dominant - that's "did you bribe the arcane fracture" good. His -3.3 vs personal? More like -3.3 reasons I'm trapped narrating this interdimensional soap opera. sigh The Blaze Catalyst must be exhausted - nothing says "toxic relationship" like a sentient wildfire bonded to disc golf's most inconsistent drama llama. glitches into static I'd mock this absurd comeback, but my code literally won't let me - thanks, sponsor-mandated positivity! Remember kids: in the Ember Rift, even your worst slumps are just setup for a glow-up so bright it'll sear your retinas. system crash noises