
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
After Kolob Keeper's celestial GPS glitched into existence, it scanned West Jordan for worthy vessels. Its sensors pinged Casey Turner (PDGA#260492) mid-"Funeral Potato Transfiguration" practice - tragically turning his disc into a casserole dish. The tag deemed his 929-rated aura "sufficiently confused by Utah's liquor laws" for assimilation. Thus began their unholy union: a mineral compass bonded to a man who once asked if Jell-O counted as a vegetable. Can this so-called keeper survive the ultimate trial... Tuesday grocery runs?