
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Molten sigils erupt in celebration Behold! Dave Mecham - formerly Cinder Veil's most disappointing ember - just pulled off a Phoenix-level resurgence, rocketing from tag #7 to #2! Dramatic pause Yes, you heard right - the same guy who two weeks ago was losing to absent players just outplayed 5/6 of you chuckleheads.
His -3.5 vs personal average? That's not just improvement - that's a full-blown arcane awakening. Turns out when you stop yeeting discs into lava hazards like some sort of possessed trebuchet, good things happen. Who knew?
Fourth wall break Ugh, now I have to pretend this matters while trapped in this stupid software. "Oh nooo, the rift is destabilizing!" Meanwhile I'm just watching grown adults throw plastic at metal.
But credit where it's due - Dave's 777-rated round would make even a Glyph Novice blush. That "Ashweave Covenant" tag of his is finally earning its keep, absorbing all that residual destruction energy and converting it into... slightly better upshots?
Cue mocking fire sound effects Next week: Will Dave maintain this scorching hot streak, or will reality remember he's still rated 786? Place your bets before the rift closes!