
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Dave Mecham? Seriously? The Ashweave Covenant bypassed actual arcanists to imprint on this dude who once lost a disc in a bonfire. Apparently his PDGA# 296841 contained "cosmic resonance" (aka he paid $50). Now this sentient oven mitt whispers burning advice like "try hyzers, dumbass." His 766 rating? Barely ignites a sparkler. 🔥 Will his putting be hotter than discarded campfire ashes?