
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Forged in the radioactive dumpster fire of Kruger Warmonger's worst hot takes, Bedlam Executioner rose when a disgraced judge traded his gavel for a glow-in-the-dark railgun axe. Ugh, imagine writing this with a straight face – his "mobile courtroom" schtick makes Judge Dredd look like Judge Judy. Complete with hydraulic armor and weakness-scanning cyber-eye because apparently due process now requires molten disc artillery? gestures vaguely at apocalyptic absurdity Who greenlit this B-movie fanfic?
From the irradiated slag heap of Kruger's ego, Bedlam Executioner scanned the wasteland with its hydraulic cyber-eye. Only one man's PDGA credentials (882! dramatic gasp) could withstand its molten disc justice: John Sheen, whose putter had the sheen of destiny. Did he earn it? Or was it just Tuesday? Either way, the tag decreed: "YOUR VERDICT AWAITS... IN CHAINS!"
Can this mild-mannered mortal handle post-apocalyptic bench rulings?