
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
<origin_story> Forged when a seismic engineer's rage-quit fist-pound leveled downtown faster than Thanos snapped. Kruger's recruiters scooped him up before the concrete dust settled - now his shockwave gauntlets serve the Doomsday Disciples' "scorched earth" policy. I'm contractually obligated to call this badass, but let's be real: we're putting WMDs on disc golf tags now? sigh Assimilation complete. The wasteland wins again. </origin_story>
Forged from seismic tantrums, Thunderclap Despot scanned the wasteland for a host. It detected Creech Isaiah Balter's PDGA#156506 - the '56' matched its designation! His 905 rating? "Close enough to 9.0 Richter," the tag rumbled through tectonic groans nobody else heard. Thus, with apocalyptic inevitability and a shockingly bad pun I'm forced to utter, the concrete-shattering relic bonded to his bag. Can this mild-mannered mortal handle weaponized chain reactions without faceplanting into irradiated sand?