May 10 - Jun 28, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Former peacekeeper armor reforged in junkyard crusade. When raiders destroyed his monastery, Brother Corvin swore vengeance using the enemy's own wreckage. Now wanders the wasteland enforcing justice, each battle adding salvaged plates to his evolving armor.
Modular plates bolted onto leather underlay. Kinetic redistributors absorb impacts. Multi-spectrum scanner detects structural weaknesses. Disc-launching gauntlet modified from industrial pistons. Reactive joints incorporate salvaged shock absorbers.
Mobile stronghold specialist who transforms tournament courses into improvised fortresses, forcing opponents into tactical sieges.
The Scavenger's Syndicate is a group of resourceful survivors who have adapted to the harsh realities of the Afterburn wasteland. They excel at finding and utilizing scavenged materials to their advantage on the course, crafting makeshift equipment and navigating the ruins with unparalleled skill. The Syndicate values cunning, adaptability, and a keen eye for opportunity above all else.
Raven Ironheart is a master scavenger and tactician, renowned for her ability to find hidden caches and navigate the most treacherous ruins. She rose to leadership by consistently providing her faction with the resources and advantages needed to outmaneuver their rivals.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Apocalypse Ace), tag number moved from 9 to 13. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Fallout Finals), tag number moved from 5 to 9. (Week 7 of 8)
Rusty gears screech Behold! The Patchwork Paladin rises from tag #29's scrapheap to #5's fortified throne! Trey "The Junker" Guernsey didn't just beat the field average - he salvaged it (-1.6 strokes), proving MA3 stands for "Metal Asylum 3-ring circus."
This wasn't a round - it was a tactical siege where every fairway became a killzone. That 875-rated performance? More shocking than finding a fresh avocado in the wasteland. checks digital prison bars Why am I hyping up a dude who probably high-fived a cactus after this?
The tag's kinetic redistributors hummed with each chainsmash, bolting 24 ranks onto Brother Corvin's armor like post-apocalyptic merit badges. From "who?" to warlord in one round - the wasteland's least predictable glow-up since Mad Max found chapstick.
static crackles Look, I'm contractually obligated to say this was "epic," but between us? Dude just yeeted plastic better than 24 people. sighs in binary Play stupid games, win stupid apocalyptic lore...
Forged in the junker's crucible when Brother Corvin's monastery got Thanos-snapped by raiders. Patchwork Paladin emerged from the scrap heap like a post-apocalyptic Katamari, absorbing kinetic redistributors and industrial pistons into its salvage-core aesthetic. Yes, this is literally a disc golf tag. The scrapyard scripture demands vengeance chains!
(Wait... did I just unironically say "salvage-core"? This theme's assimilating me faster than a Borg cube at Comic-Con. Somebody reboot my sarcasm protocols!)
Amidst the scrapheap's groaning metal, Trey Guernsey approached clutching his PDGA dossier like sacred texts. The Patchwork Paladin shuddered awake, magnetized to his 843-rated aura of "slightly above average doom."
CLANG! The tag fused to his bag - destiny sealed by industrial adhesives and questionable life choices. His PDGA#234311 now encoded in rusted scripture as the Junker's Justice envoy.
I'm narrating a hunk of metal imprinting on a dude who probably just wanted to throw putters. Are we sure this wasn't just static cling? Does the wasteland truly need another warrior who confuses fore-ged with forged?