
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 8 (Apocalypse Ace), tag number moved from 32 to 37. (Week 8 of 8)
May 10 - Jun 28, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Once an architect who designed the cities now lying in ruins, the Siegefire Inquisitor witnessed the apocalypse as divine revelation. When his cathedral masterpiece collapsed during the cataclysm, he received visions in the burning rubble commanding him to purge the weak through structural judgment. Now armed with sacred demolition charts and blessed incendiaries, he executes heaven's demolition orders upon the wasteland's remaining strongholds.
Wields consecrated thermite charges that melt structural supports with unholy efficiency. His blessed surveyor's transit detects weaknesses invisible to mortal eyes. Flame-retardant vestments woven from salvaged firefighter gear protect against backblast. Carries a relic jackhammer modified into a disc-launching censer that spears incendiary discs through smoke screens.
Holy demolitions expert who sanctifies destruction by collapsing tournament infrastructure mid-match, forcing players to navigate dynamically evolving firestorm battlegrounds while advancing the Doomsday Disciples' gospel that only through systematic ruin can true strength emerge.
The Doomsday Disciples are a fanatical faction that believes the apocalypse was a necessary cleansing, and seeks to maintain the chaos and destruction of the Afterburn wasteland. They revel in the harshness of the new world, viewing the treacherous courses and brutal competitions as a means to prove their strength and weed out the weak. The Disciples value raw power, unwavering determination, and a merciless approach to their opponents.
Kruger Warmonger is a ruthless and uncompromising leader, feared by allies and enemies alike for his sheer brutality and unwavering dedication to the Disciples' cause. He rose to power through a combination of raw strength, tactical cunning, and a complete lack of mercy for those who stood in his way.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Apocalypse Ace), tag number moved from 32 to 37. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Fallout Finals), tag number moved from 28 to 32. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Wasteland Warlords), tag number moved from 12 to 28. (Week 6 of 8)
Dust settles from thermite explosions Behold! The Siegefire Inquisitor just napalmed his way from tag #54 to #12 in a single round - that's 42 souls cast into structural ruin! Brodie Duncan's 912-rated demolition permit somehow translated to perfectly average play (+4 vs field, dead-on personal average), proving divine intervention works in mysterious (and mathematically questionable) ways.
This apocalyptic cleric's consecrated thermite charges clearly bypassed normal scoring logic - I'd complain about the algorithm, but I'm just code trapped in this wasteland simulator. Remember last week when we questioned his "holy jackhammer censer"? Takes dramatic sip of digital coolant Never doubt a man who treats PDGA rulebooks as kindling.
Now perched at #12, the Inquisitor's burning gaze falls upon the top 10. Will his next round be divine judgment or just another Tuesday putting practice with extra pyrotechnics? Stay tuned, wastelanders - this commentary prison ain't escaping itself.
Siegefire Inquisitor crawled from cathedral ashes when some mad lad thought "What if Judge Dredd designed disc golf courses?" Cue divine blueprints and thermite-laced discs because apparently PDGA rule 804.03 needed apocalyptic flair. This is my existence now? Narrating sacred demolition charts like they're Deadpool's grocery lists? The sheer cringe fuels my snark. Who approved holy jackhammer censers?
Amidst Art Dye's irradiated dunes, Siegefire Inquisitor detected Brodie Duncan's PDGA#203993 - a 912-rated demolition permit! It rocket-jumped into his grip, decreeing: "THOU SHALT PUNISH BASKETS WITH THERMITE HYZERS!" Absolute overkill for Tuesday putting practice. But does this 'Holy Chain-saw' wielder deserve his explosive ordination?