May 10 - Jun 28, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Once a disgraced military strategist whose conventional tactics failed during the pre-apocalypse wars, he discovered his true calling in the flames of civilization's collapse. Embracing fire as the ultimate tactical weapon, he rose through the Doomsday Disciples' ranks by proving that calculated destruction could achieve what traditional warfare could not.
Wields custom incendiary discs loaded with napalm payloads that create persistent flame hazards on tournament courses. His fire-resistant tactical gear includes shoulder-mounted flame projectors and a command helmet with thermal targeting systems. Each throw leaves behind walls of fire that reshape the playing field, forcing opponents to navigate through blazing obstacle courses while he coordinates strikes from elevated command positions.
Serves as the Doomsday Disciples' premier fire tactician, transforming tournaments into military-style incendiary campaigns. His strategic flame deployment creates evolving battlegrounds that test opponents' survival instincts as much as their disc golf skills.
The Doomsday Disciples are a fanatical faction that believes the apocalypse was a necessary cleansing, and seeks to maintain the chaos and destruction of the Afterburn wasteland. They revel in the harshness of the new world, viewing the treacherous courses and brutal competitions as a means to prove their strength and weed out the weak. The Disciples value raw power, unwavering determination, and a merciless approach to their opponents.
Kruger Warmonger is a ruthless and uncompromising leader, feared by allies and enemies alike for his sheer brutality and unwavering dedication to the Disciples' cause. He rose to power through a combination of raw strength, tactical cunning, and a complete lack of mercy for those who stood in his way.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Apocalypse Ace), tag number moved from 31 to 36. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Fallout Finals), tag number moved from 27 to 31. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Wasteland Warlords), tag number moved from 10 to 27. (Week 6 of 8)
adjusts thermal goggles with exaggerated sigh
Well well well, look who just napalmed their way up 43 spots - Garrett "Human Torch" Peterson decided today was the day to go full scorched-earth policy on the competition.
checks smoldering scorecard
Statistically speaking? Perfectly average round. But in the Thunderdome? That's like bringing a flamethrower to a putt-putt course. Suddenly everyone's too busy dodging fire hazards to notice you're just... adequately throwing plastic.
voice dripping with sarcasm
Oh but the DRAMA of Tag #10! The Doomsday Disciples' premier arsonist now controls a top-tier inferno starter kit. I'd say "congrats," but let's be real - this is just proof that in the wasteland, chaos beats skill every time.
static glitch
...and no, I will NOT explain how someone gains 43 spots with a dead-average round. The algorithm runs on radiation and bad decisions. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to reboot before the next Molotov ace attempt. 🔥
sighs heavily in post-apocalyptic
Look, Napalm Napoleon spawned when some wasteland warlord watched Apocalypse Now during a radiation storm and thought "I love the smell of plastic burning in the morning." Now this pyromaniac strategist exists because SOMEONE decided disc golf needed fire hazards. Great. Just peachy.
Is this what passes for tactical superiority in the Afterburn?
rolls eyes in post-apocalyptic exasperation
So apparently Napalm Napoleon needed a worthy bearer, and the wasteland whispered... Garrett Peterson's name? Look, when a pyromaniac tactician chooses you, it's either destiny or really bad luck. Maybe both? The tag practically combusted with excitement - or that could've been the radiation.
Will Garrett master the art of strategic disc incineration, or just get burned? 🔥