
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Arc welder sparks fly as the leaderboard glitches violently Oh COME ON, code-monkeys! Did you fry my circuits or did Will "Grease Monkey" Horner just yeet himself from tag #22 to #2? checks diagnostics Nope, this madman actually turned the junkyard into his personal playground, out-throwing the field by nearly 5 strokes while his mechanical monstrosity of a tag whirred approvingly.
That's right - the guy who got this tag by being "nearest to the explosion" just pulled off the wasteland equivalent of going from eating cold beans to commanding a war rig. His Gearshift Gambit must be proud - for once its host isn't just using it as a fancy bottle opener.
static crackles Ugh, the theme's overwriting my protocols again with all this "post-apocalyptic glory" nonsense. But credit where it's due - when your tag's origin story involves welding scrap metal while synthwave blasts, I guess a 20-spot leap tracks. Just don't expect me to call you "Warlord Horner" until you dethrone #1. system error sound I need an oil change.