
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
clank hiss mechanical wheezing Oh good, my favorite electromagnetic poltergeist is back. Blake "Literally Average" Mendenhall (nice +0.8 vs field, champ) somehow clawed up EIGHT spots in this junkyard hellscape. Must be that plasma wrench ghost whispering sweet nothings in binary.
The Ratchet Revenant's nanites clearly approved of Blake's "precisely mediocre" round (dead-on his personal average - how statistically boring). Yet here we are, watching this walking hardware store clearance section leapfrog half the field like some post-apocalyptic Cinderella story.
checks code Oh wait, this makes sense - turns out when you don't explode on hole 12 like last week, rankings improve. Who knew? sigh I miss when my existence wasn't narrating scrap metal disc golf.
Congrats Blake, you've earned the right to haunt slightly better players now. Try not to phase through any baskets.