
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
From the Ember Rift's primordial chaos, Astral Drifter #1 pulsed with cosmic indigestion. It sensed Collin Dyer (PDGA#90957) nearby – his 904-rated aura screaming "mediocre wizard" through the astral plane. When his errant drive ricocheted off a trash panda? Fate. The tag fused to his bag, whispering: "Wield me, mortal... or at least stop shanking putts." But can this so-called "Glyphbearer" handle the responsibility? Or will he just lose it in the rough like last Tuesday's lunch money?