
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue dramatic explosion SFX Randy "The Human Calculator" Lee just napalmed his way from tag #33 to #20 in this week's Scavenger Scramble! checks notes Wait, he shot exactly average? sighs Of course the wasteland's most chaotic neutral warrior advances through sheer attrition while better players get taken out by his beer koozie "explosives."
adjusts post-apocalyptic visor Let's break down this tactical masterpiece: Our Siege Savage played like a discount John Wick - not flashy, just consistently not-terrible while others faceplanted into his strategically placed "hazards." pauses I'm contractually obligated to pretend his Trek Pole actually has hydraulic capabilities.
Pro tip, Randy: Next time, maybe try scoring BELOW average? Radical concept, I know. mutters about being trapped in software that dramatizes PDGA rec league scores
explosion noise CLIMBING 13 SPOTS WITHOUT IMPROVING IS PEAK WASTELAND ENERGY. drops mic made from scavenged basket chains