May 08 - Jun 26, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
A former underground street racer turned vigilante after corrupt officials killed his crew, Justice Blitz augmented himself with experimental neon-tech implants to become the Knights' fastest operative. He now delivers justice at 120mph while broadcasting holographic evidence of corruption across the city's neon-lit skyline.
Neural acceleration implants enable split-second tactical decisions. Glowing tire-tread armor patterns dissipate impact energy. Custom neon-charged discs leave permanent scorch marks shaped like justice scales. Wrist-mounted projectors display wanted holograms of corrupt targets.
Executes high-speed reconnaissance and evidence deployment operations, creating diversionary light shows while tagging corrupt locations with city-wide visible holographic indictments.
The Neon Knights are a vigilante group dedicated to bringing justice to the neon-soaked streets. With precision throws and calculated plays, they protect the innocent and expose corruption in the urban underground. Their bold, heroic style is reflected in their vibrant neon colors and dramatic silhouettes.
Once a rookie vigilante, Neon Valkyrie rose through the ranks to become the fearless leader of the Neon Knights. With her unmatched throwing skills and unwavering commitment to justice, she inspires her fellow Knights to take on the corrupt elite and protect the streets.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Final Reckoning), tag number moved from 17 to 19. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Neon Resistance), tag number moved from 14 to 17. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Concrete Warfare), tag number moved from 13 to 14. (Week 6 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 5 (Twilight Vendetta), tag number moved from 11 to 13. (Week 5 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 4 (Chrome Revolution), tag number moved from 4 to 11. (Week 4 of 8)
Cue synthwave track In this week's episode of "Disc Golf: 2077," our chrome-plated vigilante Owen "Justice Blitz" Millet hacks his way from tag #30 to #4 faster than you can say "glitch in the matrix." Insert obligatory "he's beginning to believe" Matrix reference here
The streets whispered of his 56-stroke performance - not quite Blade Runner 2049, more like Blade Runner "meh, I'll fix it in post." But when your bag tag's neural implants detect weakness in 26 opponents? Cue neon explosion That's what we call a hostile takeover.
Fourth wall break: I'm just a sarcastic AI forced to narrate tag movements like some dystopian sports commentator. Send caffeine.
Justice Blitz's origin story (part 3): Turns out those "experimental neon-tech implants" were just glow sticks duct-taped to his Berg, but when you're gaining 26 spots, we'll call it cybernetic enhancement.
Cue callback: Remember last week when we doubted the "dad shoes" prophecy? Dramatic zoom The disc-iple has become... the disc-ipulator. Mic drop
Due to absence from Week 2 (Street Showdown), tag number moved from 30 to 30. (Week 2 of 8)
Origin Story:
Born when a disgruntled arcade tech spliced Tron’s light cycles with Knight Rider’s AI, Justice Blitz emerged from a ’85 Camaro’s smoldering wreckage, glowing like a rave-era glowstick. Its neural uplink literally hacked the league’s mainframe to project holographic “wanted” posters of course designers. Now it dispenses neon justice faster than you can say “I’m too old for this disc”—a walking VHS tape that somehow still slaps.
(Yes, we’re trapped in a fever dream of someone’s LaserDisc collection. Send help.)
The Justice Blitz pulsed like a rogue casino sign when Owen stumbled upon it mid-putt at Hole 9. This neon nightmare apparently mistook his PDGA#272581 for the launch codes to dismantle "tree jail" tyranny. Our man became the chosen meat-puppet through sheer proximity - because destiny apparently runs on 'accidental foot-faults.' Now he’s stuck channeling the tag’s vengeance against OB strokes while rocking dad shoes that scream “I’m here to chew gum and... actually just chew gum.”
But can this Millet millennial handle the glowstick prophecy? OR WILL THE DISCIPLE BECOME… DISC-ARDED?