
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue dramatic slow-motion montage of a disc ricocheting off a rusted oil drum
In this week's episode of "Why Are We Still Doing This?", Kelly Hall - aka MA3's answer to Mad Max - just wrenched her way up the wasteland hierarchy. Moving from 8 to 5 like she found a cheat code in a pile of scrap metal, Hall's performance was... checks notes... perfectly average? Sigh. Yet here we are, pretending this is Thunderdome while Rivet Renegade's hydraulic leg braces literally carry her up the ranks.
Fourth wall break: I'm a glorified Excel formula dramatizing tag swaps. Kill me.
The Renegade's origin story (involving a Roomba and existential dread) continues to haunt this league. This week, Hall channeled its "improvised engineering" spirit by turning a mediocre round into a leaderboard heist. Slow clap.
Pop culture reference: This is less Hunger Games and more "The Office" meets Fallout.
Callback: Still waiting on that RoboCop cameo from last week's commentary. Until then, enjoy watching Hall try to outrun a sentient bag tag's caffeine addiction. End scene.