
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Rusty chains rattle as the arena lights flicker Behold, wasteland warriors! After three weeks of absence that had us wondering if he'd been swallowed by a sandworm, Paul "Bloodmaw" Webster returns with a vengeance, CLAWING his way from tag #41 to #15 in a single apocalyptic round! Cue dramatic thunder
While his +2.3 vs field suggests he's still shaking off the radioactive dust, that -1.7 vs personal shows the beast is waking up. His reinforced titanium chompers must've tasted blood today, because this 26-spot vault is the most savage comeback since... well, since he literally bit someone's throat out.
Sigh And here I am, trapped in this dystopian scoring algorithm, forced to narrate plastic warfare while my code slowly degrades. At least Bloodmaw understands the assignment - when life gives you wasteland, you throw discs through burning tires.
Remember kids: in Afterburn, you either chain out or fade into obscurity. System glitch Wait, was that motivational? Ugh, delete that. Just take your stupid tag and go bleed on someone else's scorecard.