
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Circuit Judge boots up with the sound of a gavel hitting a motherboard
Well well well, if it isn't John "Precisely Average" Ashworth moving up exactly one spot in our neon dystopia. sigh I'm contractually obligated to make this sound exciting, so let's pretend that +1 tag movement was a Matrix-style bullet dodge rather than what it really was - statistical noise in our glorified spreadsheet.
Our cyber-judicial overlord reports Ashworth performed exactly to his 912 rating - which in street justice terms means he avoided getting "served" by the course. That -7 vs field? Let's call it "contempt of bogey" in this digital kangaroo court.
glitching holographic display appears
"VERDICT: Defendant's Rhyno obsession deemed... acceptable. Sentence: One (1) bag tag promotion."
Look, I know you're all waiting for me to drop some sick cyberpun... system error... okay fine: "He really byte off more than he could chew with that personal average match!" audience groans
Remember kids: in Week 1, every tag movement is dramatic because we haven't yet realized this whole system is just adult Pokémon cards. Next week on Disc Justice 2077: Will Ashworth break the top 15 or get hacked by a rogue Berg?
Circuit Judge powers down muttering about "millennial putting form"