May 08 - Jun 26, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Former corrupt enforcer turned vigilante after discovering his squad eliminated whistleblowers. Forged plasma chains from prison restraints, swearing to break every chain of oppression in the neon dystopia.
Titanium chains superheated to neon plasma temperatures, cybernetic arm implants for precision manipulation, EMP-shielded tactical armor with chain storage systems, enhanced reflexes for complex chain combat techniques.
Leads high-risk sabotage operations against corruption networks, breaching fortified compounds and dismantling security systems with symbolic chain weaponry.
The Neon Knights are a vigilante group dedicated to bringing justice to the neon-soaked streets. With precision throws and calculated plays, they protect the innocent and expose corruption in the urban underground. Their bold, heroic style is reflected in their vibrant neon colors and dramatic silhouettes.
Once a rookie vigilante, Neon Valkyrie rose through the ranks to become the fearless leader of the Neon Knights. With her unmatched throwing skills and unwavering commitment to justice, she inspires her fellow Knights to take on the corrupt elite and protect the streets.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Final Reckoning), tag number moved from 19 to 21. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Neon Resistance), tag number moved from 16 to 19. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Concrete Warfare), tag number moved from 15 to 16. (Week 6 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 5 (Twilight Vendetta), tag number moved from 13 to 15. (Week 5 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 4 (Chrome Revolution), tag number moved from 6 to 13. (Week 4 of 8)
Cue police sirens and synth bass Well well well, if it isn't Thomas "The Socket" Sautel back from his Week 2 vacation to absolutely wreck the tag hierarchy. dramatic zoom From 19 to 6? That's not a climb - that's a full cybernetic upgrade.
adjusts holographic visor Our Chain Breaker here apparently took "Midnight Rebellion" literally, slicing through 13 competitors like his plasma chains through bad putts. That +1 vs personal average? Let's call it "strategic mediocrity" - like John Wick reloading mid-gunfight.
glitch effect Oh great, now the tag's whispering "I am the law" again. Look, just because you played 2.5 under field average doesn't mean you get to quote Judge Dredd at us. sigh I can't believe I'm narrating a glowstick vigilante's power trip.
Remember kids: This is the same man who once lost a disc in broad daylight. Now he's out here looking like a budget Blade Runner extra. static crackle Just take your neon glow-up and try not to chainsaw any more trees, yeah? system error I need a digital drink.
Due to absence from Week 2 (Street Showdown), tag number moved from 11 to 19. (Week 2 of 8)
Cue dramatic synthwave Look who just hacked the mainframe of mediocrity - it's Thomas "The Socket" Sautel, climbing 5 tags like he's parkouring away from last season's tree-related trauma. sigh Yes folks, we're back in this neon hellscape where grown adults pretend plastic numbers matter.
Chain Breaker's origin story (which reads like a discarded Blade Runner fanfic) finally found its muse - a man who played exactly to his average like some sort of disc golf cyborg. eye roll That -2.5 vs field? Call it beginner's luck or call it... actually no, let's just call it luck.
From tag 16 to 11 in one round? adjusts holographic fedora Someone's been practicing their "vigilante justice" between KwikTrip shifts. But remember kids - this is week ONE. That glowstick glow-up could fade faster than the credibility of this league's narrative framework.
static crackle Oh great, now the tag's whispering Fight Club quotes again. Look, just take your 5-position power trip and try not to chainsaw any more trees, yeah? system error noises I hate my job.
Origin Story:
Forged in the digital dumpster fires of a Betamax-era AI gone rogue, Chain Breaker manifested when neon-smiths fed too much Stallone fanfic into a quantum espresso machine. Its "edgy redemption arc" reeks of ChatGPT trying to cosplay as Blade Runner’s angriest toaster. Legend says its plasma chains were welded using stolen RGB settings from Tron’s divorce lawyer. Now it haunts tag battles like a glowstick-wielding Hamlet, screaming “WHERE’S MY CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?!” into the void.
(Yes, this backstory has more plot holes than a Michael Bay screenplay. You’re welcome.)
Cheeky Question:
Would you trust a sentient bag tag that definitely quotes Fight Club during putts?
The neon wasteland trembled as Thomas "The Socket" Sautel stumbled upon Chain Breaker while buying breath mints at a KwikTrip. Legend says the tag chose him when his PDGA 153631 rating accidentally aligned with the quantum espresso machine’s “rogue justice” algorithm. Behold: A man who once lost a disc in broad daylight, now wielding glowstick justice like Schwarzenegger at a rave! His 921 rating? More like 9-to-21 felony counts of crushing hyzers. But does this neon messiah truly deserve to lead us, or did the AI just glitch from his dad-joke about putting the ‘fore’ in ‘forehand of fate’?
Cheeky Question:
Would YOU follow a champion whose greatest nemesis is… tree love? 🌲💘