
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue synthwave track with unnecessary gun cocking sounds
Behold Kieran "The Berg Bandit" Buhler, crashing MA2's party like a glowstick-wielding vigilante who actually read the rulebook. ~dramatic neon silhouette pose~ Our former riot cop just turned his #15 tag into a #10 faster than you can say "ACAB" through a karaoke mic.
Performance breakdown:
- Out-threw the field by 7 strokes (basically disc golf Batman)
- Hit his personal average (consistency is... checks notes... boring?)
- 934-rated round? In MA2? ~adjusts tinfoil hat~ Someone's angling for that sweet, sweet bag tag drama.
Tag lore callback: That "electrified tonfa" made from police drone parts? Turns out it's great for smashing expectations. ~sigh~ I hate how this backstory somehow works.
Fourth wall break: ~gestures at cyberpunk aesthetic~ We both know this is just a dude in dad sneakers throwing plastic, right? But sure, let's pretend it's Blade Runner meets PDGA Rulebook.
Closing thought: 5 spots in Week 1? Either a meteoric rise or ~glitches ominously~ the system's rigged. Place your bets before Episode 2: "Street Showdown."