
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue dramatic synthwave Oh look, it's Nicholas "Disc Hard" Jennings, our favorite black-ops engineer-turned-vigilante, already fumbling his demolition charges in Week 1. Shadow Havoc must be weeping neon tears - you had ONE JOB, Nicky. Keep the tag. Instead, you're out here performing like a malfunctioning hologram, dropping one spot to #15.
Flips through cyberpunk dossier Let's analyze this tragedy: You shot exactly your average (58), which in vigilante terms means you showed up wearing your "I ♥ Surveillance Drones" shirt. The field average was 58.5, so technically you're... checks notes... 0.5 strokes less mediocre than everyone else. Congrats?
Your EMP pulse discs clearly overloaded your own neural implants, because only someone with scrambled circuits would let this happen during Neon Initiation. Dramatic zoom This is how revolutions die - not with a bang, but with a bogey.
Fourth wall break I can't believe I'm trapped in this software narrating a one-position drop like it's the Zapruder film.
Cheeky question: When your light-refracting polymer suit fails, do the tears at least make pretty neon patterns?